Welcome to my monthly “Failures” column, where I look back at some of the films I could, would, maybe even should have watched last month… but failed to.

Normally I start with what feels like the ‘biggest’ theatrical release of the month — usually (but not always) the one that’s also in my header image — but November has offered up a few of fairly equal standing. Depending on your personal proclivities, you may feel last month’s most noteworthy new release was (in alphabetical order) belated and somewhat unexpected sequel Gladiator II, or TV series turned sequel film Moana 2, or heartwarming threequel Paddington in Peru, or prequel musical adaptation Wicked.

There were also other movies released — ones that weren’t tied to existing properties, even! While none can claim to be as juggernaut-like in their current impact, they may yet be felt come awards season — Sean Baker’s Anora, for example; or maybe even papal thriller Conclave, which seems to have strong buzz. On the other hand, I’ve not heard anyone say a good word about Christmas fantasy-actioner Red One (it has such strong “direct to Netflix” vibes that I was surprised to discover it was a theatrical release). Also filling screens someplace were Hugh Grant horror Heretic (who thought it was a good idea to release that the day after Halloween?!), Clint Eastwood’s courtroom thriller Juror #2, LEGO-based Pharrell Williams biopic Piece by Piece, and documentary Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story.

Over on the streamers, we find more premieres with award season buzz, like Netflix’s Emilia Pérez (literally all I’ve heard about it is from Best Picture nominee prediction lists on social media); and more films with strong critical receptions, like Disney+ cerebral palsy drama Out of My Mind (literally hadn’t heard of it until I saw a news article about its 100% Rotten Tomatoes score), or anime Look Back on Amazon Prime (I noticed it when it catapulted into the upper echelons of the Letterboxd Top 250 a little while ago. Whenever anime do that, they’re usually still a ways off from getting a UK release, so it was a pleasant surprise to see it on Amazon so soon). Other films with varying claims of “newness” (by which I mean: I can’t be bothered to look up if they’re streaming originals or actually released somewhere else first with so little noise that their streaming debut is the first I’ve seen of them) included ‘birth of IVF’ drama Joy, animation Spellbound, and generational drama The Piano Lesson (all Netflix); on Prime, sort-of-time-travel comedy My Old Ass, and Jude Law as Henry VIII opposite Alicia Vikander as Katherine Parr in Firebrand (apparently it suffers in comparison to the currently-airing second series of Wolf Hall); Shackleton doc Endurance on Disney+; and the latest in the never-ending run of actioners starring an aged Liam Neeson, Absolution, this one relegated to the lowly status of a Sky Original.

Conversely, it’s Sky Cinema (and, by extension, NOW) that continue to get most of the biggest streaming premieres of films that had a theatrical run. This month, we were finally treated to The Holdovers. It’s somewhat amusing that they’ve made us wait until Christmas for a Christmas film that was originally released here in January. Other additions included Dev Patel’s directorial debut, Monkey Man (which also featured in this column back in July, when I bought the Blu-ray; and before that in April, when it was in cinemas); John Krasinski-directed Ryan Reynolds-starring children’s fantasy thing IF; quirky comedy Sasquatch Sunset; and also Dune: Part Two, but I’ve seen that so it’s not really a failure. And talking of “films that have had two previous mentions” (as I was four films back), Deadpool & Wolverine is on Disney+ already. I say “two previous mentions”: this is its second mention (after its theatrical release in July), because the disc copy I bought but failed to watch will be coming up later in this column, because that’s how much Disney have shrunk the disc/streaming window now.

Catalogue titles doing the streaming shuffle (i.e. they’ve already streamed somewhere before, but now they’re back, probably somewhere different) are headlined by Midsommar, because it’s not been available to stream for a while, which I’m acutely aware of because it’s the most popular film on Letterboxd that I’ve never seen. Now it’s on Amazon Prime, so I can keep intending to watch it but never actually get round to it until one day it suddenly disappears and I curse my ineptitude once again. Fun times. Others I find worthy of particular note (for whatever reason — and I’m saving us all time by not spelling out all those reasons) included Cold Pursuit, The Hunt, M3GAN, Mary Queen of Scots, and Tár on Netflix; Black Adam, Crazy Stupid Love, A Cure for Wellness, The Gentlemen, The Rover, Samurai Marathon, and Whip It on Prime, along with most of the Pink Panther films (I’ve never seen one and think I probably should); The Edge of Seventeen, Krampus, Stalag 17, and Three Days of the Condor on NOW; Bones and All, Dunkirk (the 1958 one), No Bears, and Women Talking on iPlayer, plus documentary Made in England: The Films of Powell and Pressburger, part of a whole season about the Archers (although, of their films that were screened, I either have seen or own them); and C’mon C’mon, Freaky, In the Earth, Lucy in the Sky, The Worst Person in the World, and X on Channel 4.

Not enough? I haven’t even started on stuff I want to rewatch (Get Out, The Kid Detective, Paddington…), or stuff I already own on disc (Alita: Battle Angel, Basic Instinct, Event Horizon…), or stuff I already own on disc and want to rewatch (Collateral, Hero, Ronin…) One particularly worth mentioning that fits the latter camp is It’s a Wonderful Life, which would be a good one for December, obviously. And if we’re doing additional mentions, I’m also gonna chuck in a random discovery called Dragon Crusaders. It looks and sounds like low-budget direct-to-anywhere schlock (“anywhere” in this case being Prime, of course), so normally I’d ignore it, but for some reason I read the plot description: “a group of fugitive Knights Templar attacks a pirate ship… to save the world, they must defeat a wizard-dragon.” You just know it’s going to be disappointing, but it still sounds awesome enough to risk it, right?

Talking of risks, let’s turn to my always “blind buy”-filled list of new purchases from the past month. Case in point: out of 87 films I’m about to mention, I’d only seen eight of them before. Yeah, that’s a lot of films, mainly thanks to it being sale season: between latecomers from Halloween sales, November sales, and Black Friday offers that arrive promptly, I racked up multiple hefty box sets — yes, for the second month in a row. Plus there were some new releases, naturally. I went through them in size order last month, which was kinda fun; and while that won’t get us all the way this month (there’s a lot more regular single-film titles), let’s start off that way.

Biggest by far was Indicator’s Magic, Myth & Mutilation: The Micro-Budget Cinema of Michael J Murphy, 1967–2015, a 26-film (plus some alternate cuts) collection that I’d sat out on originally but caved at sale price. Honestly, I’m not sure how good any of it will be, but I’m intrigued. Next, a brand-new release that maybe I should have waited on — Arrow’s Shawscope: Volume Three — not because I’m concerned about the quality of the 14 martial arts movies it contains, but because both of their previous Shawscope sets have ended up on sale for up to 50% off. I couldn’t risk them having done a shorter print run and accidentally missing out, though. Next, we swing back to Indicator for another catchily-named horror set: The Criminal Acts of Tod Slaughter: Eight Blood-and-Thunder Entertainments, 1935–1940. This eight-film set (clue’s in the subtitle) was one I came close to purchasing on its original release but, with so much coming out all the time nowadays, I had to prioritise my cash elsewhere that month.

Two three-film sets next, so I’ll continue to alternate new releases and sale pickups by first mentioning Eureka’s Super Spies and Secret Lies, a trio of Japanese Bondsploitation efforts; and second, altogether more worthy, Criterion’s Three Revolutionary Films by Ousmane Sembène, which I’d also had my eye on when it came out, but snagged a 40% saving thanks to waiting for a UK sale (not as reliable as their regular-as-clockwork US ones, nor as lucrative (what with those being 50% off), but better than nothing). The multi-film sets come to an end with another pair of two-film sets, which continue the new release/sale pattern. The former: 88 Film’s 4K UHD The Legend of Fong Sai Yuk Collection, with two Jet Li actioners from 1993. The latter: Radiance’s Bandits of Orgosolo, which comes paired with a programme of ten of the director’s short films collectively titled The Lost World.

Next, let’s go back to some themes I’ve already touched on. Titles I tried to sit out but ended up caving for? Radiance’s Häxan (sort of another multi-film set, because it has four different cuts and multiple score options), which I’m actually very interested in… so much so I’d already imported the Criterion. The new special features swung me. Then there was Second Sight’s The Blair Witch Project, which you’ll notice isn’t in bold. That’s because my copy went missing in the post; and because I’d ordered it late, and had to wait until it was officially deemed lost, it had sold out. No limited edition for me, unless I’m willing to fork out silly money (last check: £175+) to a scalper on eBay. Another theme: Criterion sale pick-ups. I upgraded Le Samouraï to 4K, because I heard such good things about the transfer. The other two I got were also in 4K: Lone Star and The Roaring Twenties. One Criterion 4K I didn’t get was Seven Samurai… because I bought the BFI’s release instead. Keeping my old Criterion Blu-ray means I get all the special features from both labels, which is nice. Other extravagant 4K releases included The Third Man (when you open the box it plays the theme music!) and Godzilla Minus One (no music, just a thick and expensive box).

More regular 4K titles included Deadpool & Wolverine (“callback to earlier this post” klaxon), recent acclaimed HK actioner Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In, amateur filmmaking documentary American Movie, Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell, M Night Shyamalan’s Trap, and horror anthology Trapped Ashes. The latter four I had to import from the US, and so along with them came more Criterions (Chimes at Midnight and The Tales of Hoffmann (talking of Powell & Pressburger…)), Russian sort-of-Sherlock Holmes adaptation In the Moscow Slums (it’s partially based on The Sign of Four), folk horror The Savage Hunt of King Stakh, and animation Tamala 2010: A Punk Cat in Space (which won me over by being described as “inspired by both Hello Kitty and Thomas Pynchon’s The Crying of Lot 49” — I have no strong feelings on Hello Kitty, but I love The Crying of Lot 49). And talking of imports, I went to buy the Turbine (a German label) release of Mission: Impossible – Fallout in 3D and decided to support their efforts to get 3D on disc by ordering the rest of their bundles too, so I’ve found myself with copies of Jurassic World Dominion (which I would’ve bought in 3D in the first place if it had been an option, but now I also own on 4K), the Robert Downey Jr Dolittle, plus animations The Bad Guys, Migration, and Minions: The Rise of Gru (mixed feelings about those four, to be honest).

Let’s wrap this up with a final little cache of new releases: 88 Films’ Black Cat 2; Radiance’s Japan Organised Crime Boss and Panic in Year Zero; and Eureka’s The Sword, which would’ve been a strong contender for my Genre category… if I had any spaces left. Now, it can just compete with every other thing I’ve mentioned in this 152-film column for the one “Failure” slot. (Crikey…)