The Incendiary Monthly Review of September 2024

I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you… this month’s films.



This month’s viewing towards my yearly challenge

#67 Godzilla Minus One (2023) — Wildcard #3
#68 Incendies (2010) — WDYMYHS #8
#69 Desperado (1995) — Failure #9
#70 The Fall Guy (2024) — New Film #9
#71 Frozen II 3D (2019) — Wildcard #4
#72 The Batman (2022) — Wildcard #5
#73 Golem (1980) — Wildcard #6
#74 Cutthroat Island (1995) — Rewatch #9
#75 Rio Bravo (1959) — Blindspot #8


  • I watched 10 feature films I’d never seen before in September.
  • Eight of them counted towards my 100 Films in a Year Challenge, along with one rewatch.
  • Four of those qualified as Wildcards. That’s… fine. I mean, I should’ve been watching Blindspot and WDYMYHS films instead, really, but at least I was watching something. I always intend to leave the Wildcards as late in the year as possible, because they’re considerably easier to cross off than some other categories; but I’m also not going to watch a film that could qualify and not count it just so the slot is left open to be filled later — that’s a different kind of madness.
  • I left it so long to watch Godzilla Minus One that I didn’t think it was going to qualify for my Challenge. Let’s walk through the categories. My “New Films” go by UK release date, but G-1 is a seemingly-rare example of a film that is foreign language and an Oscar nominee, but was actually released in the UK in its original year of release. It was on my WDYMYHS list when I published that in January, but has since dropped off the IMDb Top 250 so no longer counts. It was in both May and June’s “Failures” after being surprise dropped on Netflix on June 1st, but I wasn’t subscribed at the time (I’m, uh, still not) so I missed that. It also featured in August’s Failures, but technically that was the black-and-white version so it would sorta be cheating. I could have waited until the UK disc release delivered it onto the Failures for a fourth time, but I have a suspicion that won’t be out until December. There is a theatrical re-release coming in the interim, but that only works for qualification if it (a) screens for more than one night (I don’t think it actually did last time, at least not near me), and (b) it’s released one month and is still screening the next (to qualify as a “failure”, again). But, for all that, it does perennially qualify thanks to being on my 2023 “50 Unseen” list… but I used up all the slots in that category already… but that’s what Wildcards are for! Hurrah! (And whew!)
  • For some reason I thought I had one Series Progression slot left to go, and Frozen II was going to fill that slot. It wasn’t a fault in my record keeping, just in my memory. So, as a wildcard, Frozen II could’ve counted as either Series Progression (that series being the Disney Animated Canon) or 50 Unseen (it was on 2019’s list). I went with the former because, as I said, that’s what I thought I was doing; and also because I’ve already has a 50 Unseen wildcard, so let’s keep it mixed up.
  • I’d been trying to keep the Batman films on my List of Reviews page in some semblance of series order, though that was always made harder by the animated films taking place in various different chronologies, not to mention two-thirds of the Dark Knight trilogy not even beginning with the word “Batman”. Now, after The Batman, I’ve just given in and put it in full-on alphabetical order. That also doesn’t feel quite right (the four Burton+ live-action films are now scattered and out of sequence), but nothing’s perfect (except arguably strict chronological across all the films… but even that throws up oddities, like interrupting the aforementioned live-action run with 1993’s Mask of the Phantasm).
  • This month’s Blindspot film was Howard Hawks and John Wayne’s response to High Noon, Rio Bravo. It’s a good film, though (even setting aside political leanings) I thought High Noon was better.
  • No WDYMYHS film this month, meaning I’m two behind on both the Blindspot categories. That’s intentional for Blindspot itself (I’ve got two horror films on the list, so I intend to watch both of those in October), but WDYMYHS now just needs to be caught up on.
  • From last month’s “failures” I watched Desperado, The Fall Guy, and Golem.



The 112th Monthly Arbitrary Awards

Favourite Film of the Month
Quite a few films I enjoyed this month, even though a couple fell a little short of my high hopes for them (said hopes were probably too high, but what can you do?) One that absolutely lived up to its billing was Denis Villeneuve’s Incendies — one of those films that’s truly gruelling, but also truly exceptional.

Least Favourite Film of the Month
One of the things about liking 3D is that I’ll watch almost anything in 3D, which is how I came to watch “nudie cutie” Adam and 6 Eves. It’s a 60-minute film that exists to primarily show off topless women, with some pun-laden narration because, I dunno, I guess someone thought if they made it funny it would somehow stop it being crass? It didn’t work; it just made it worse.

The Audience Award for Most-Viewed New Post of the Month
Hey, would you look at that: I posted some actual film reviews! And one of them came out on top, too, with The Swordsman of All Swordsmen being my most-viewed post of the month. That said, it was only slightly ahead of the August monthly review; and the other new review post (Hepworth shorts) was way down the list. But if I was doing all this just for hits, I’d’ve given up a long time ago.



Every review posted this month, including new titles and the Archive 5


For some people, October is all about the horror movies. I always feel like I’ll go all-in on that too one year, but every time it rolls around I haven’t even considered that “one year” being this year. I do have a couple of seasonally-appropriate flicks I’ve been holding back for the occasion, though, so in 31 days we’ll see just how horrific my month gets.

June’s Failures

What do I lead with from this month at the cinema, then? There was the much-anticipated sequel to a beloved animated movie that shot straight to #1 on Letterboxd’s greatest films list, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. And there was the much-anticipated continuation-cum-reboot of the DC film universe, that got a lot of advance hype (Tom Cruise loved it!) — at least until critics actually saw it, and then audiences stayed away in droves too. That’s The Flash. Or there was the somewhat-anticipated rarity of a major movie star in an R-rated comedy, which (depending on who you listen to) is actually quite good — that’s Jennifer Lawrence in No Hard Feelings. Perhaps the always-anticipated occasion of a new Wes Anderson movie, here in the form of Asteroid City.

Nah — for all of that, for those of us of certain generation(s) there can be only one. The return of the return of the great adventure — the man in the hat is back again — in spite of the mixed reviews out of its Cannes premiere, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny remains an event. One I’d intended to see on opening day, or as close to it as possible, but other plans got in the way (again!) Hopefully I’ll make it out to the cinema (for the first time since Dune in October 2021!) before the new Mission: Impossible turns up to (a) takeover all the big screens, and (b) takeover my attention (as much as I love Indy, I feel like the new Mission is a better bet for a great movie).

Oh, and there was also a new live-action Transformers movie — the seventh! — Transformers: Rise of the Beasts — but I couldn’t stretch my “anticipated” format to encompass that (surely no one still cares about those movies, do they? I mean, I’ll probably watch it at some point out of some kind of sense of duty, but I’ve not even bothered to watch the trailer).

Indeed, there were more-noteworthy movies than that from the streamers this month; at least one, anyway, with Netflix’s Extraction 2 attracting a lot of positive notices. I’d remembered liking the first one well enough, though I’d forgotten just how much until I re-read my review (I guess it didn’t stick in the memory), and it sounds like the sequel is even better. I’m looking forward to making time for it, I just haven’t yet. Also on the Netflix watchlist is just-released graphic novel adaptation Nimona; plus we’ve finally got the subscription streaming debut of Matilda the Musical (for those who don’t know, it went straight to Netflix in most of the world, but in the UK & Ireland has been through the traditional process of theatrical release, rental streaming, and even (shocker) a disc release).

Brand-new titles on the other streamers included another Amazon Prime debut for a Guy Ritchie flick, The Covenant; and, on Disney+, Eva Longoria’s directorial debut, Flamin’ Hot, which I think is the kind of story that has some cultural significance for Americans but is largely lost on the rest of us. Disney also had “the official documentary” about Stan Lee — imaginatively titled Stan Lee — and the streaming debut of Avatar: The Way of Water, three whole weeks before it hit disc (oh how physical media has been devalued. But you’ll all be longing for it soon when the streamers are forced to start ditching bigger and bigger titles). Meanwhile, Prime claimed Ikiru remake Living as an “Amazon Exclusive” — one of those relatively meaningless ad slogans, because it’ll be exclusive until it isn’t. Like, say, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, which used to be an Amazon Exclusive but, as of this month, is on Netflix but no longer included with a Prime subscription.

Talking of stuff coming quickly to streaming, Creed III popped up on Prime just a week or two after its disc release (which I mentioned last month). It’s certainly not the only unspun disc sat in my collection that also popped onto streaming this month, although nothing else was so recent. I mean, The Chronicles of Riddick came out nearly 20 years ago, so it’s just daft I haven’t got round to it yet. Others in a similar situation — of varying vintages — included The African Queen, Bong Joon-ho’s Barking Dogs Never Bite, Cloud Atlas, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, The Long Good Friday, the original version of The Manchurian Candidate, and Ben Affleck’s The Town; not to mention stuff I own on disc with the intention of rewatching, like The Adventures of Robin Hood (you know, the Errol Flynn one), Blade (in the past few years I’ve bought it on Blu-ray, then Blu-ray again, then 4K, but haven’t watched it since DVD would’ve been the only option), The Lost Boys (one I’ve been meaning to rewatch for years, but even buying the 4K last September hasn’t got me there yet), The Rocky Horror Picture Show (dread to think how long I’ve owned that on Blu-ray without revisiting it), Danny Boyle’s Steve Jobs biopic, and… oh, God, so many others! This is why I so often comment in this column that I’m not going to list all the interesting catalogue additions to streaming, because, well, this happens.

…that said, stuff I don’t already own that particularly caught my eye this month included Becky on Netflix; Gremlins 2: The New Batch and Heaven’s Gate on Amazon Prime; also, Magic Mike and The Notebook, two films that seem to yo-yo on and off every streamers’ catalogue; on MUBi, The Earrings of Madame De… and God’s Own Country; The Eiger Sanction, Guys and Dolls and The Miseducation of Cameron Post on iPlayer; and, on Channel 4, Ridley Scott’s Black Rain, Dan Stevens in German robot rom-com I’m Your Man, and The Worst Person in the World. (I call this “failures”, but there’s no way I could watch all this in one month, is there?)

Oh, and we haven’t even got on to my disc purchases yet. But we’re going to now. Yep, there were plenty of those, as usual, including one film already mentioned this month. That’d be Avatar: The Way of Water, which got a rare 3D Blu-ray release, so I bought that over the 4K version. It’s a shame they didn’t do a double-pack of the two, because apparently the 4K version looks stunning, but maybe I’ll pick that up someday too.

Titles I did pick up on 4K included brand-new releases like The Fabelmans and John Wick: Chapter 4. After aiming and failing to get round to seeing the latter in the cinema, I’ve now owned it for weeks and failed to watch it at home, too. Tsk. There was also Indicator’s release of low-ranked giallo Cold Eyes of Fear and Vinegar Syndrome’s release of, er, Showgirls. Not a film I ever thought I’d watch before its recent-years reappraisal, and now here we are. Ordering almost anything from the US means ordering other stuff to spread p&p (at least when I do it), so arriving with the latter were 4Ks of Miami Connection and Thriller: A Cruel Picture, plus a regular ol’ Blu-ray of Santo vs Dr. Death. Damn you, boutique labels, for constantly selling me on lavish editions of films I’d never even heard of (possibly for good reason)!

UK boutiques provided most of my other purchases this past month, albeit with titles of primarily Japanese origin. New additions to the Masters of Cinema line included dramas Revenge and Samurai Reincarnation; action from Arrow in the Game Trilogy; and moviemaking anime in All the Anime’s release of Pompo: The Cinephile. And from broadly the same part of the world (i.e. Hong Kong), another martial arts actioner added to Eureka’s portfolio, Lady Reporter, aka The Blonde Fury.

Finally, last month I lamented the demise of Network, and this month I finally picked up a couple of their titles I’d had my eye on, before they disappear out of print forever. Namely, those were cops-and-robbers drama All Coppers Are…; medical ethics thriller Life for Ruth; and once-controversial homosexuality drama Victim — all the kinds of ’60s and ’70s British fare Network so excelled at. Oh, they will be missed.

Three in 3D

As you may have noticed, Channel 4 have just had a 3D week. Arguably lacking in content, it included three films. I subjected myself to all of them to provide you with the following…

#75
Flesh for Frankenstein
1973 | Paul Morrissey | 95 mins | TV | 18 / R

“The best thing about the extra dimension is that it provides some genuinely impressive visuals throughout, and not in the gimmicky, thrust-stuff-into-the-audience way — naturally there are some of those shots, but… there are also shots that demonstrate why 3D could be genuinely valuable, to visuals if not necessarily to storytelling.”

2 out of 5


#77
Friday the 13th Part III
1982 | Steve Miner | 91 mins | TV | 15 / R

“They have a whale of a time shoving stuff out into the audience for almost no reason — just like the stereotype of 3D films, of course. That’s part of the fun of trashy 3D movies so I’m not criticising it, but what sadly doesn’t work is the ColorCode 3D system chosen by C4.”

2 out of 5


#78
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert
2008 | Bruce Hendricks | 72 mins | TV | U / G

“The only real exception is the 3D — being a very recent production, that was flawless.”

1 out of 5


It’s quite easy to see why 3D’s never taken off before. Even here, there are some good and/or notorious 3D films they haven’t bothered to show, which is a shame. Now they’ve distributed all those glasses, maybe they’ll consider just slipping some 3D films into the schedule now and again in the future. Doubt it, but it could be fun.

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert [3D] (2008)

2009 #78
Bruce Hendricks | 72 mins | TV | U / G

Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert UK posterRubbish. In almost every way possible.

I could expand on that in numerous ways, but what would be the point? The only real exception is the 3D — being a very recent production, that was flawless.

Take solace in the fact that one day — hopefully, one day soon — Cyrus, Montana, this ‘movie’, and all the rest, will be completely forgotten.

1 out of 5

This was shown as part of Channel 4’s 3D Week. That’s why.

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert featured on my list of The Five Worst Films I Saw in 2009, which can be read in full here.

Flesh for Frankenstein [3D] (1973)

aka Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein

2009 #75
Paul Morrissey | 95 mins | TV | 18 / R

Flesh for FrankensteinFlesh for Frankenstein is thoroughly daft. But it’s also in 3D, so let’s start there.

The best thing about the extra dimension is that it provides some genuinely impressive visuals throughout, and not in the gimmicky, thrust-stuff-into-the-audience way — naturally there are some of those shots, but they seem to work quite poorly here. That could be the fault of Channel 4’s chosen 3D system, or perhaps of watching on a TV rather than a huge screen. Either way, there are also shots that demonstrate why 3D could be genuinely valuable, to visuals if not necessarily to storytelling. For example, early on the wife/sister (a discussion for another time) and her kids go for a picnic. It’s shot from a distance through branches in the foreground, which highlights that there’s a realistic sense of depth to every element of the frame that just isn’t present if you see the same shot in 2D — I know, I checked. For perhaps the first time, I got a sense of why some people harp on about 2D flattening composition.

Unfortunately, while the 3D system used is sometimes flawlessly brilliant, at others it seems to have gone wrong. There’s an odd green ringing in some shots, while at others it appears they’ve used the wrong shade of blue for monochrome-depth because it shows up (in scenes that work, the blue is clearly visible if you take the glasses off, but invisible with them on). Such problems are intermittent in the stuff shown during 3D Week, leading one to suspect it’s as much a fault of the age of the film elements.

I can also now see why people have been complaining so much about 3D — it feels like a constant struggle and strain to watch, like you’re always having to make it work. Perhaps that’s partly down to the technical flaws described above though, because I didn’t suffer as much during an hour of Derren Brown’s Magic Spectacular, whereas here I could feel the strain after just 15 minutes.

As for the film itself… The plot doesn’t make any sense for about 20 minutes, then Udo Kier’s Frankenstein (I presume he’s Frankenstein, I don’t think he’s ever addressed as more than Baron) has a bit of a monologue to explain his Hitler-ish Cunning Plan — to someone who already knows it, naturally — and suddenly most of what’ll happen for the rest of the film is abundantly clear.

The acting is uniformly atrocious. Despite that, it also provides the film’s best moments: the European cast are unable to pronounce “laboratory” — every time it’s uttered it comes out as “lavatory”. Childish I know, but it’s one of the film’s few enjoyable moments. “I had to work for two years before I could even stick my nose in the lavatory” is an instantly classic line. (As is “To know death, you have to fuck life in the gall bladder” — literally, apparently.) Continuing the accented madness, the good-guy serf sounds to be from Brooklyn. At least he can say “laboratory”.

Gratuitous nudity and gore belie some critics’ apparent view that it’s only with the emergence of torture porn that operation-level gore has become a selling point of horror movies — it’s only become more realistic. Just as the gore’s silly, so the sex seems misguided — whoever cast the whores seems to have found believable rather than attractive ones. Oops. That said, whoever in the sound department thought the most realistic sound effects for various sex acts could be found by having someone suck on a balloon, loudly, was even more misguided.

Apparently it’s all meant to be satirical or Pythonesquely humourous. Well, maybe, but it sails too close to the winds of genuine crapness to let such a defence fly — though, as noted, that certainly makes it laughable. Weak in just about every way imaginable, if you’re after a horror, gore, porn or 3D fix, look elsewhere. For “so bad it’s good” value, however, I’ve kindly given it an extra star.

2 out of 5