Category Archives: 2 stars

Films that scored 2 out of 5.

Four short films

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2007 #52a
The End
2005 | Tim Clayton & Rob Crowther | download

A very brief film with a slightly silly, slightly amusing idea at its core. It doesn’t outstay its welcome, but it does lose something in that you can see the end coming almost from the start. Currently available for free at LOVEFiLM.

2 out of 5


2007 #52b
Bus Stop
2004 | Matt Abbiss | download

An animated, somewhat bizarre short about two people waiting at a bus stop. Done in a very simple style with sparse sound, but it’s competently executed and often effective. It has some amusing moments. Not bad, but mainly for people who like this kind of thing anyway. Currently available for free at LOVEFiLM.

2 out of 5


2007 #52c
Park
2005 | Andy Pearson | download

“Some humans in a park act like dogs” is essentially the premise of this film. It’s a decent enough concept for a short really, and is well executed with some nice little moments. Prettily shot in the autumn, too. Currently available for free at LOVEFiLM.

3 out of 5


2007 #52d
Nine 1/2 Minutes
2002 | Josh Appignanesi & Misha Manson-Smith | download

David Tennant (yes, David Tennant!) and Zoe Telford (she’s been in a variety of TV stuff) star in this comedic short about two people on an uncomfortable blind date that lasts just about as long as you might suspect. Genuinely funny for the most part, and easily the most professionally executed of these four shorts, but it does have a somewhat confounding conclusion. Currently available for free at LOVEFiLM.

4 out of 5

Casanova (2005)

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2007 #44
Lasse Hallström | 107 mins | DVD | 12 / R

CasanovaAs expected, this film pales in comparison to the Russell T Davies-scripted, David Tennant-starring BBC production from the same year. Where that version is witty, clever, entertaining and actually does something with the characters, this film is silly, predictable and only occasionally graced with an amusing moment. Heath Ledger isn’t in the same league as Tennant as Casanova-in-his-prime, and obviously few could compare to Peter O’Toole as old Casanova (in the BBC one, that is).

Basically: avoid this, but be sure to see the BBC one.

(Additionally, it says a lot about America that the vague innuendo and sexual themes of this gained it an R rating over there, while in the UK it only managed a (much more appropriate) 12.)

2 out of 5

Doom (2005)

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2007 #25
Andrzej Bartkowiak | 113 mins | DVD | 15 / R

DoomDoom is quite flawed in many ways. I don’t say this because I inherently dislike mindless action films (while I am perfectly aware they are not usually Great Films, I enjoy them as entertainment); I say this because Doom doesn’t really succeed at being one. It takes too long to get anywhere — I think someone thought it was building suspense, when really it’s just nothing happening.

When it does kick off it’s brief and only vaguely entertaining. And the much-discussed first-person sequence is far too much like watching someone play a video game.

2 out of 5

The Last Days of Pompeii (1913)

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aka Gli Ultimi giorni di Pompeii

The Last Days of Pompeii2007 #9
Mario Caserini & Eleuterio Rodolfi | 88 mins | VHS

The fact that it’s an old silent film will be enough to put most people off. Some of those are worth seeking out, of course, but I would hesitate to recommend this one.

The score may be a little unfair as the plot and execution of it aren’t too bad, but somehow I can’t bring myself to give it any more.

2 out of 5

Thumbsucker (2005)

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2007 #2
Mike Mills | 92 mins | DVD | 15 / R

ThumbsuckerI had no desire to see this film, for whatever reason, until I saw the trailer two or three (or more) times at my uni’s CinSoc, after which I thought it looked like it could be quite funny and cool. So I rented it, and it disappointed me.

It’s not a new Donnie Darko, as some would have you believe; it’s not that funny either, actually, or that quirky, really. It’s not the worst thing ever, but by and large it’s best avoided.

2 out of 5

Eragon (2006)

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2007 #1
Stefen Fangmeier | 104 mins | cinema | PG / PG

EragonThe first film I saw in 2007, and I saw it on New Years Day!

Eragon wants to be the next Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter / Narnia, especially with its utter lack of resolution at the end, but it just isn’t. It has its entertaining moments, but it’s also lumbered with huge lumps of bad dialogue, bad acting and fantasy clichés abound.

I have no idea how it compares to the book.

2 out of 5