Tower Block (2012)

2014 #6
James Nunn & Ronnie Thompson | 90 mins | Blu-ray + download (HD)* | 2.35:1 | UK / English | 15

Tower BlockResidents of a condemned high-rise witness a gang-related murder, but don’t intervene and deny all to the police. Months later, a sniper begins to pick them off. Can they band together and survive?

Screenwriter James Moran (Severance, Torchwood, Doctor Who) seems to have hit a good idea for a single-location thriller, and there are neat sequences in the mix, but there’s not quite enough juice in the concept or characters to sustain a full 90 minutes.

By no means a bad effort, but a brisker pace — and, to be frank, more innovative reveal of the killer — could have paid dividends.

3 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long. You’ve just read one.

* To be precise: I started on a rental BD, which went screwy just over halfway through, so I finished it off via a download. ^

Amélie (2001)

aka Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain / Amélie from Montmartre*

2014 #65
Jean-Pierre Jeunet | 122 mins | Blu-ray | 2.35:1 | France & Germany / French | 15 / R

AmélieQuirky director Jeunet uses quirky cinematography and quirky special effects to tell the quirky story of a quirky girl, who had a quirky upbringing by quirky parents, and now lives a quirky life with quirky friends. A quirky coincidence leads her into the quirky hobby of cheering up strangers in quirky ways, during which she meets more quirky people who do quirky things, and she quirkily falls for the quirkiest.

It’s the kind of quirky that self-consciously ‘Quirky’ people feel they alone identify with and instantly declare their favourite movie; despite which, it’s a genuinely good film.

But very quirky.

4 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long. You’ve just read one.

Amélie was viewed as part of my What Do You Mean You Haven’t Seen…? 2014 project, which you can read more about here.

* I don’t think I’ve ever heard it referred to by this title anywhere, but it’s what the subtitles call it on the title card of the English Blu-ray. ^

Ghost Rider (2007)

2014 #45
Mark Steven Johnson | 101 mins | TV | 1.78:1 | USA & Australia / English | 12* / PG-13

Ghost RiderNicolas Cage fulfils his long-held wish of playing a comic book hero in this peculiar effort from the writer-director of Daredevil.

The MacGuffin storyline feels ripped from Constantine, but here executed via a screenplay written in Dairylea on a block of Stilton, shot on Camembert film with Cheddar cameras. Add a villain who looks like a Twilight reject, cheap CGI, DOA humour, and the bizarre centralising of disposable subplot-level romantic antics, and you get a result that’s not repugnant, but just a bit odd. A few surprisingly inspired moments, plus the farcicality of its blatant cheesiness, rescue it from vapidity.

2 out of 5

Ghost Rider featured on my list of The Five Worst Films I Saw in 2014, which can be read in full here.

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

* The UK theatrical release was passed at 12A with cuts to “Johnny’s face disintegrating into the Ghost Rider during his initial transformation”. The DVD is uncut but a 15. No idea which version gets shown on TV. ^

The Punisher (2004)

2014 #32
Jonathan Hensleigh | 118 mins | DVD | 2.35:1 | USA & Germany / English | 18 / R

The PunisherAdapted from a Marvel comic, though you can’t really call this a superhero movie: undercover cop Frank Castle’s family are murdered, so he goes after the crime organisation responsible. This is action-thriller territory, not guys in tights fighting.

Smushing R-rated violence against silly housemate humour, writer-director Hensleigh’s film is either a refreshing change of pace or tonally awkward. I’d argue it’s mainly the latter with a smattering of the former. If you can accept that, it’s solidly entertaining.

This is the second of three live-action Punishers, all unconnected. Now the rights are back with Marvel, how long before another reboot?

3 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

Visions of Light (1992)

2014 #33
Arnold Glassman, Todd McCarthy & Stuart Samuels | 90 mins | TV | 16:9 | USA & Japan / English | PG

Visions of LightCinematographers discuss cinematography in this AFI-produced documentary. Initially a whistlestop history of film photography, it segues into analysis of movies the interviewed DPs had shot. Unfortunately, casual film fans may judge it monotopical, while hardened cineastes may find it a haphazard, Hollywood-centric overview.

However, there’s real delight to be found in the clips, and the discoveries you can make through them. It opens with an extended section on David Lean’s Oliver Twist, which in my experience is mainly discussed for Alec Guinness’ Fagin, but on this evidence is visually awe-inspiring. This showcasing, plus a smattering of insights, redeem any imperfections.

4 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

Bicycle Thieves (1948)

aka Ladri di biciclette

2013 #63
Vittorio De Sica | 89 mins | Blu-ray | 1.33:1 | Italy / Italian | U

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

Bicycle ThievesThe victor of Sight & Sound’s inaugural “greatest film” poll (though it’s slipped down the rankings ever since), this is the simple story of a man hunting for his stolen bicycle, which is vital for his job, hard-won in a time of unemployment and poverty.

Bicycle Thieves is deemed “one of the masterpieces of Italian neorealism”, which apparently means it’s without symbolism or allegory. But if it’s nothing other than a “slice of life”… if we’re to garner nothing more than “here is something that happened”… well, is it even more simplistic than it already appears? And is that enough?

4 out of 5

Bicycle Thieves was viewed as part of my What Do You Mean You Haven’t Seen…? 12 for 2013 project, which you can read more about here.

Chicken Little (2005)

2014 #16
Mark Dindal | 77 mins | streaming (HD) | 1.85:1 | USA / English | U / G

Chicken LittleThe director of Disney’s woeful The Emperor’s New Groove re-tells the well-known centuries-old folk take about a chicken who became a middle school baseball champ before foiling an alien invasion.

This was Disney’s first foray into computer animation in their main movie canon, in the wake of Home on the Range’s failure and Pixar and DreamWork’s CG success. It merely proves the fault was not with their traditional animation, but with their storytellers.

Occasional bright spots of humour are the only relief in this cheap-looking childish ‘adventure’, only notable as the “first film released in Real D’s digital 3D format”.

1 out of 5

The UK network TV premiere of Chicken Little is on Channel 5 at 3:25pm.

It featured on my list of The Five Worst Films I Saw in 2014, which can be read in full here.

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

Arthur Christmas (2011)

2013 #105
Sarah Smith* | 93 mins | streaming | 16:9 | UK & USA / English | U / PG

Arthur ChristmasAardman’s second CG feature attracts a starry cast (not just the leads — check out who’s credited as “Lead Elf”!) to the story of how Santa really delivers all those presents in one night: a giant spaceship-like craft and thousands of SAS-esque elves. But when one child is missed, Santa’s clumsy son Arthur resolves to fix it.

So commences a breathless global knockabout — it rattles along so fast, an hour in you’ll think it must be nearly over. Aside from a few longueurs that give you pause to think such thoughts, it’s an entertaining ride, perfect for the family at Christmas.

4 out of 5

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2013. Read more here.

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

* Most websites list both Smith and Barry Cook as director. However, at the very start of the closing credits it prominently states just, “Directed by Sarah Smith”. IMDb specifies that Cook was “co-director”, and having watched the credits especially for a second time, I found him: he has the 28th credit. While I’m sure his contribution was vital, I’ve stuck with just crediting the person credited. ^

Sharknado (2013)

2013 #66
Anthony C. Ferrante | 84 mins | TV | 16:9 | USA / English | 15

SharknadoSharknado is a defining film of 2013. The volume of conversation it generated, which achieved the near-impossibility of higher viewing figures for its repeats, is exceptional. So I was determined to give it its due in a full-length review. But I can’t be bothered — it doesn’t merit such attention.

Rather than attempt something with genuine ambition that failed, the makers undertook the cynical manufacture of a film “so bad it’s good”. Not as funny as it thinks, with awful CGI, worse acting, nonsensical plotting, and that brazen “look how bad a film we made!” attitude, it’s a pathetically dull mess.

1 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2013. Read more here.

Sharknado featured on my list of The Five Worst Films I Saw in 2013, which can be read in full here.

Flight (2012)

2013 #83
Robert Zemeckis | 132 mins | streaming (HD) | 2.35:1 | USA / English | 15 / R

FlightAfter a decade locked away in motion-capture madness, Robert Zemeckis returned to the realms of the real with this Oscar-nominated drama. Its most high-profile nod was for Denzel Washington, starring as an airline pilot who miraculously crash lands his plane, but is revealed to have been high during the flight. Cue a film that attempts a grown-up account of addiction, but fumbles it, in the process missing the more interesting story of the crash investigation.

Supporting characters’ subplots stall and John Goodman’s comedic cameo is misjudged, leaving Denzel’s reliable performance and the incredible crash sequence the only reasons to watch.

3 out of 5

In the interests of completing my ever-growing backlog, I decided to post ‘drabble reviews’ of some films. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2013. Read more here.