Avengers Assemble (2012)

aka The Avengers / Marvel’s The Avengers / Marvel Avengers Assemble / Marvel’s Avengers Assemble

2012 #78
Joss Whedon | 143 mins | Blu-ray | 1.78:1 | USA / English | 12 / PG-13

Avengers Assemble

I don’t think it’s a perfect movie. I don’t even think it’s a great movie. I think it’s a great time.

So says Joss Whedon, writer/director/creator of the generation-defining Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off Angel, the inimitable Firefly, its incredible movie send-off Serenity, the ground-breaking Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and, y’know, Dollhouse (which I’ve not seen). In short, I love the work of Mr Whedon. And, more relevantly, he’s also the writer/director of the film that represented the culmination of Marvel’s uber-successful Phase One cinematic experiment: the disappointing Avengers Assemble.

Yeah, I said “disappointing”.

Let’s tackle the big looming issue head-on: hype. Something can only be disappointing if you’re expecting something of it, and the big screen adaptation of Marvel’s long-running superhero team-up comic The Avengers certainly had more than its fair share of that. Built with subtle (and not so subtle) snippets of information through five preceding Marvel Studios films, this crossover had been teased for years, and it was a radically new method of franchise-building to boot. Mix in that most of these films and characters were very popular, and the fan-pleasing appointment of Mr Whedon, and you had a recipe for hype. In spite of this potentially damaging level of expectation, critics largely loved it, and audiences too (though there were dissenting voices — genre magazine SFX only awarded it 3.5 stars), and it outpaced everyone’s expectations to become the third highest grossing film of all time (it took more than Iron Man, Thor and Captain America combined).

Captain Iron and America ManComing to it for the first time on Blu-ray, then, there’s an even bigger level of expectation attached. Iron Man had much the same problem five years ago, and I felt that had been overrated too. I don’t think either are bad films — I very much enjoyed Iron Man, and I enjoyed The Avengers, albeit more intermittently — but I don’t think either are as good as mass opinion holds.

The problem here is bringing together so many different characters from so many different films. If anyone can do it it’s Whedon, master of the ensemble cast in just about every one of his previous projects, but even he produces a leaden first act in which we’re re-introduced to everyone and they’re gradually brought together. This is the film’s worst segment — it’s a slow 20 to 30 minutes during which pieces are shuffled into place for what follows.

Even when it picks up, the plot’s scaffolding is on show: bits feel engineered merely to set up certain one-on-one face offs (Whedon makes sure nearly every hero has such a scene with Loki, for instance), or even to keep certain characters out of the way until the plot requires them again. People talk of the fantastic dialogue, but I found the odd good line in a sea of functional chatter. Maybe it plays better in a packed cinema. The action sequences are a similar affair, though they manage to have their cake and eat it with hero-on-hero duels at first meeting before united-heroes-vs-baddies later on. However, there are some bits that played well in the trailers which, in the film, feel like they were parachuted in to play well in the trailers. As the (excellent) Honest Trailer points out, however, one key mid-film sequence is all about the exciting event of… Iron Man repairing a ship. Woo.

This ship.

Despite the relatively moderate success of the non-Iron Man previous Marvel films, this largely draws its story from their sources. Boring old Captain America is the de facto lead, though of course Tony Stark steals the scene from him on numerous occasions — those worried the film would be seen as Iron Man and His Super-Friends weren’t wholly wrong (indeed, that’s virtually how the Radio Times describe it in their 22-word summary).

But, even more so, Whedon’s chosen villain and plot make this pretty much Thor 2. The evil so bad it has to bring all the heroes together is Loki, last seen falling to his doom at the end of Thor (well, if you watch the post-credits scenes he was doing something else, but as far as Thor’s concerned, he’s gone). His motivation, only passingly mentioned (so much so that some missed it and claim he’s destroying Earth “just because”), is born out of the events of Thor; as is world-shattering MacGuffin the Tesseract (again, it was first mentioned inHammer Time Thor’s post-credits scenelet); plus numerous events from that film are mentioned and discussed, I’d say more so than any of the other four preceding films (scenes that would have more specifically related to the events of Captain America were cut for time and pace — yes, believe it or not, some stuff was left out).

I don’t know how the film plays for total newbies — there must have been some in the audience, considering how much more the film made than its predecessors — but I think that in many respects you need to have seen all the previous films. You certainly need to know who Iron Man is and who Tony Stark is; the allusions to Steve Rogers’ past, and so why his character is the way he is, are all there; and, as discussed, Thor has the most bearing on the plot. Perhaps you could follow it without having seen any of them, but I’m willing to bet you’d be very aware you were missing backstory.

Looking ahead for a moment to Marvel’s forthcoming Phase Two (a series of sequels and one new film leading up to The Avengers 2), they’ve talked about keeping the individual characters’ movies standalone, so that each works as its own series. I can see how Iron Man 3 will be just fine (though even that will be building off his psychological reaction to the events of Avengers’ climax), as would a (second) Hulk reboot (besides, it doesn’t need to continue at all if it’s a reboot). Heck, even Cap might get away with it — having deleted the “coping with the modern world” stuff here, why not use it in Cap 2? And we can tell from the title that the main plot will derive from events in Cap 1. But The Avengers completely blusters on from the end of Thor, Puny Godmeaning Thor 2 is going to have to begin somewhere after what happened here, with very specific ramifications for its characters. Maybe they’ve got some damnably clever way around that. I doubt they think it matters any more anyway — who hasn’t seen The Avengers? And in the future, well, it’s up to the viewer to piece together which order all the disparate sequels and spin-offs go in.

And on matters of “screw later viewers!”… Technically I should probably subtitle this The Blu-ray Cut or something, for two reasons. 1) The Shwarma Scene, a short post-credits scenelette that was included on Marvel’s The Avengers but wasn’t ready in time for Marvel Avengers Assemble’s week-earlier theatrical release. It’s back now. 2) The Spear Tip, which there’s every chance you’ve heard about: fans complaining it’s gone missing on the DVD/BD; the BBFC investigating if Disney breached the Video Recordings Act; then discovering it was (sort of) their own fault for (sort of) not spotting the change; Disney saying it was never even there in cinemas (which the BBFC disagree with)… Sadly, the end result was Disney had done nothing illegal. It might’ve been nice if they’d been forced to do a recall and repress, because then they’d have had no excuse to not include the director’s commentary (missing from the UK release because it was recorded late and some idiot thought hitting an earlier date was preferable to including all the special features), but I don’t imagine that was ever really likely to happen.

I haven't discussed Maria Hill either, but here's a pretty pictureAnd the glaringly obvious thing I haven’t discussed is the title. Firstly, as you can see from all my akas at the top, no one can quite agree on what it’s meant to be. Secondly, there’s the highly contentious UK renaming. Did it need it? Patronised-feeling film and comic fans say “no”; but those aware of general public perception say that, either anecdotally or through research, normal Brits did report confusion with the classic ’60s spy series (and, presumably, the lamentable ’90s movie). Funnily enough, I think the new title actually works better in context. “What do we do now?” calls Agent Coulson. “Avengers Assemble,” comes the title card’s response. Well, it kinda works. And even then, what does it matter, really? Those people who went as far as importing a foreign DVD or Blu-ray just for the original title card need to get some perspective in their life. (If you did it for Whedon’s commentary, however, I completely understand. I saved money and pirated it (the commentary, not the whole film), which feels morally pleasing.)

I realise I’ve spent much of this review discussing the pre-release hype, what this means for the future of the franchise, and how they ballsed up the home entertainment release. That those are the elements most concerning me perhaps says something about my reaction to the film. And I haven’t even mentioned the distracting way the heroes all talk to each other without earpieces during the final battle, or Jeremy Renner’s comments about his disappointment at the treatment of Hawkeye (he has every right to be peeved), or the predictable inevitably over who gets killed off (of course someone gets killed off, that’s one of Whedon’s trademarks), or the resultant outcry from some parts of fandom, or even bits that were quite good.

You'll like him more when he's angryAmusingly, one of the few bits even those in implacable love with the film sometimes criticise is Banner’s “I’m always angry” moment, which I thought was an awesome perspective on the character. It’s not just convenience either — it was put it in for a specific reason. I’ve lost the quote, but it’s something to do with how Whedon always feels somewhat angry at various things. I could identify.

Avengers Assemble left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. After all the hype and excitement, I just didn’t enjoy it that much. I tried, but it seemed slow to get anywhere, the dialogue didn’t zing as promised, some of the story seemed perfunctory and lacking requisite grandeur, there were little niggles like the earpieces… Perhaps it will fare better on repeat viewings, because there’s certainly entertainment contained within, and I’ll be divorced from such insurmountably high levels of expectation. But until then… disappointing.

4 out of 5

Avengers Assemble premieres on Sky Movies today at 4pm and 8pm, continuing for the next fortnight.

It merited an honourable mention on my list of The Best Films I Saw For the First Time in 2012, which can be read in full here.

Thor (2011)

2012 #37
Kenneth Branagh | 115 mins | Blu-ray | 2.35:1 | USA / English | 12 / PG-13

ThorDirector Kenneth Branagh brings all his Shakespearean know-how to one of the most innately successful of Marvel’s recent superhero movies. Perhaps lacking the mass appeal of Iron Man (specifically, of Downey Jr), Branagh spins a yarn of gods and mortals, humility and responsibility, without stinting on action or humour.

In the title role, Chris Hemsworth is an instant star; as his evil brother, Tom Hiddleston also seems to be commencing a considerable career. Too much building to The Avengers is its only major flaw. I had no interest in Thor before; now I’m desperate to read some of the comics.

4 out of 5

Marvel Avengers Assemble, aka Marvel’s The Avengers, comes to Sky Movies Premiere from Friday 15th February at 4pm.

In the interests of completing my backlog of 2012 reviews, I decided to post some ‘drabble reviews’ of the stuff I watched longest ago. In the future I may update with something longer, but if I don’t, at least there’s something here for posterity.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

My reviews of the other Marvel Phase One movies can be found at the following links: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, and Captain America: The First Avenger; plus, the first two Marvel One-Shot shorts.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)

2012 #2
David Yates | 130 mins | Blu-ray | 2.40:1 | UK & USA / English | 12 / PG-13

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2After a decade on screen, the fantasy series comes to an action-packed conclusion. Adapting the final novel’s second half, it’s mostly finale, to both the seventh tale and entire series. The climactic Battle of Hogwarts takes up much of the film. A glut of combat and cameos, most surviving characters return. Many get their moment to shine, with particular gratification from Matthew Lewis’ Neville, Julie Walters’ Mrs Weasley, and Maggie Smith’s Professor McGonagall. Not flawless, with major deaths off screen and a Potter / Voldemort showdown less stirring than the novel’s, but exciting and grand enough for a fitting send-off.

4 out of 5

See also my overview of the Harry Potter films of David Yates.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 merited an honourable mention on my list of The Best Films I Saw For the First Time in 2012, which can be read in full here.

In the interests of completing my backlog of 2012 reviews, I decided to post some ‘drabble reviews’ of the stuff I watched longest ago. In the future I may update with something longer, but if I don’t, at least there’s something here for posterity.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, a drabble is a complete piece of writing exactly 100 words long.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part II (2013)

2013 #7
Jay Oliva | 76 mins | Blu-ray | 1.78:1 | USA / English | PG-13

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part IIThe two-part animated adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic, regularly voted among the top three stories ever told in the medium, concludes here. If you’ve not seen Part I, I recommend you start there — I imagine you could follow much of Part II without it, but why bother?

In the second half of Miller’s tale, the Joker is being released from incarceration to appear on a talk show, apparently reformed. Batman doesn’t believe a word of it, but the new police commissioner isn’t about to let Gotham’s vigilante have his own way. Meanwhile, in Washington D.C., a President concerned about the ramifications of Batman’s return has a little chat with a red-and-blue-clad chum…

Miller’s original work is most often consumed as a graphic novel these days, but it was originally published as four individual parts and is consequently quite episodic. What screenwriter Bob Goodman has done with his adaptation is manage to make it feel like a story of two halves, with each movie being largely self contained — you could stop at the end of Part I and feel you’d had an entire tale, I think. Here, elements from Miller’s fourth chapter are introduced earlier (at least, that’s how I remember it, but note I’ve not read it for years), lending Part II the sense of being a whole movie, rather than two back-to-back shorter tales.

Dark Knight fight!Nonetheless, a pair of big battles form the cruxes around which the story works: Batman vs the Joker, and Batman vs Superman. I won’t spoil the outcomes for those who’ve not read the book, but both are excellently realised on screen. Action can be tricky in comics — you’re stuck with a series of still images to convey fast-paced, often intricate movement. I also generally have the impression that action sequences are not 2D animation’s forte — too many frames need to be drawn, too many different angles to make it quick and exciting enough. The Dark Knight Returns is one of the exceptions, however, and the two big sequences in Part II — as well as a couple of smaller ones — outclass anything in Part I, which was good in the first place. I’d go so far as to say the Superman fight improves on the novel’s version, at least in a visceral sense — Miller delivers Batman’s internal monologue and a certain pleasing disregard of Supes, while Oliva wisely skips any kind of voice over and delivers the entire duel blow for blow. It’s a fantastic climax.

It’s also quite dark and brutal, particularly during those action scenes. Translate this shot-for-shot to live action and I don’t imagine they’d get away with a PG-13, even from the violence-friendly MPAA. Producer Bruce Timm revealed in one interview that they were concerned they’d get an R even for the animated version. The UK Part I classification of 15 is much more in step with the content.

The JokerThe story may provide some déjà vu for those only acquainted with live-action Batman, because Christopher Nolan borrowed liberally from Miller’s TDKR for his TDKR, The Dark Knight Rises. This is even less obvious than the Batman Begins / Batman: Year One issue, though, because most of what Nolan used is in Part I, and most of the story he told wasn’t remotely similar. Still, you may spot one or two correlations.

As Batman, Peter Weller’s vocals are largely fine but sometimes lack heft. His rousing speech to a massed army sounds more like a weary chat than a bellowed rallying cry, which is just poor direction… or an uncooperative star, I don’t know which. Lost and Person of Interest star Michael Emerson makes a great Joker though, understated and calm but with a loony edge. He wouldn’t be right for every tale of the Clown Prince of Crime — sometimes you need Mark Hamill’s crazed cackle — but for Miller’s older, sneakier version, he’s bang on. Elsewhere, Ariel Winter’s shining moments came in Part I, and Mark Valley is a bit of a limp Superman — this is pretty much a piss-take of the Big Blue Boy Scout, but the voice doesn’t go OTT to match. Indeed, never mind over the top, it’s barely halfway up.

But these feel like niggles, because on the whole The Dark Knight Returns, Part II delivers exactly what you want from an action-packed Batman animated movie. The Dark Knight rises!There were many sceptics when DC first announced they were going to tackle such a sacred Bat-story, and not all were convinced by Part I. I don’t imagine Part II will change their minds, but for those of us who did enjoy the first animated interpretation of Miller’s seminal tale, this is even better. In fact, even without its first half, I’d say it joins the ranks of my very favourite Bat-films.

5 out of 5

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part II is out on DVD and Blu-ray in the US from Tuesday 29th January 2013. No UK release date has been announced.

It placed 9th on my list of The Ten Best Films I Saw For the First Time in 2013, which can be read in full here.

Django (1966)

2013 #4
Sergio Corbucci | 92 mins | Blu-ray | 1.66:1 | Italy & Spain / Italian | 15 / R

DjangoThe ’60s were a pretty exciting time for cinema. In France, the Nouvelle Vague were tearing up the rulebook and pushing forward their own techniques; in Britain, the James Bond series was ditching kitchen sink drama in favour of reinventing the action movie, turning itself into a global phenomenon in the process; and in Italy (and Spain) they were pulling a similar trick on that most American of genres, the Western.

Say ‘Spaghetti Western’ to most people and what they’re envisioning is the work of Sergio Leone, but you and I know it stretches much further than that. Aside from his works, the original Django is arguably the best known, so successful it spawned over 50 sequels and rip-offs (only one, made 21 years later, is official). With Quentin Tarantino adopting the name for his latest cinematic outing (in UK cinemas from today), I imagine its renown has only increased.

The titular gunslinger (Franco Nero, dripping with silent tough guy masculinity) is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, walking into a near-deserted town on the US-Mexico border dragging a coffin in his wake. There he runs afoul of a local Major, who consequently descends on the town with his 40-strong army… and that’s just act one! That alone would sustain plenty of films, but Django has more in store.

Django with a small gunMuch of the film plays as an action movie. There’s a lot of atmospheric ponderousness at the start, but once things kick off they rarely let up. In just over 90 minutes the film rattles through a damsel-in-distress rescue; a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shoot-out; a 40-on-1 massacre; a raid on a fort; a barroom brawl (one of the stand-outs, that — anyone who thinks handheld ShakeyCam fights are a modern invention should take a look); a tense, silent escape; a brutal punishment (or two); a valley ambush; and a graveyard stand-off. I think that’s all, but I may have missed some. It’s practically a definition of bang for your buck, which I’m sure goes a long way to explaining its popularity.

It all culminates in a final act that’s remarkably fatalistic, almost to Shakespearean levels. Without wanting to spoil too much, nearly everything goes wrong and hardly anyone makes it out alive. The answers about Django’s past aren’t exactly cheery either. It’s all a bit doom and gloom, though ultimately not as depressing as it could be. But almost.

I don’t normally comment on the format in my reviews — especially Blu-ray, which I never feel well enough qualified to offer detailed comment on — but it’s fair to say the US Region A-locked BD from Blue Underground has questionable picture quality. Some would say it was atrocious. The film begins with a note that this transfer is from the original negative and there were some age-related faults, but if that leads you to expect the odd scratch or speck of dirt, you’d be wrong. Detail, colour, and so on are actually all very strong, Django with a coffinbut it’s like watching something on a not-quite-correctly-tuned analogue TV; like you’ve found the channel, but you’re one or two points off the optimum frequency. Or, to put it another way, it’s really snowy. As I said, I’m no expert in BD quality, but this looks like it needs a sympathetic dose of DNR. No one but fools want a waxy Predator-esque hack job, but the mess here is equally distracting. When the odd clear bit comes along, though, it looks gorgeous. There’s a UK version out on Monday, but obviously I have no idea if it’ll be any better.

Django is exactly the kind of film you’d expect Tarantino to love: violent (so violent it was denied a UK certificate until 1993), yet classically stylish, but with boundary-nudging parts, the odd vein of dark humour, and a rough-round-the-edges feel (no doubt because they started shooting without a finished story, and never had a full screenplay!) It’s not as slick as Leone’s work and, even with Tarantino shining a spotlight on it, won’t challenge the Dollars films or Once Upon a Time in the West for a place at the top table. But it is entertaining.

4 out of 5

As noted, Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained is in UK cinemas today, while Argent Films release a UK Blu-ray of the original on Monday.

Dirty Laundry (2012)

aka The Punisher: Dirty Laundry

2012 #62a
Phil Joanou | 10 mins | streaming | 3:1 | USA / English

New Punisher logoUnveiled at San Diego ComicCon and then released on YouTube in July 2012, Dirty Laundry is an unofficial short film starring Marvel character the Punisher. It’s a fan film, really, but the twist is it’s made by the production company of Thomas Jane, star of the 2004 film version of The Punisher, who reprises the role too.

A short tale clearly inspired by so many Westerns (Frank Castle, the Punisher, sees bad stuff going down, doesn’t want to get involved, but then realises he Has To), it’s designed as a tribute to the character, who’s arguably been ill-served by the three big screen versions to date. I presume it’s also meant to act as some kind of proof-of-concept pitch, though I’ve not specifically seen anyone involved in its production say that. The subtext, however, is that this is how the makers believe a Punisher movie should be done.

For that reason you’d assume the director was some young up-and-comer, eager to prove what he can do. In fact, Joanou is 50, directed U2’s Rattle and Hum documentary in the ’80s, helmed some films no one’s heard of and a couple of episodes of TV shows no one’s heard of, and his last work was The Rock crime/sport drama Gridiron Gang in 2006. Which just goes to show you shouldn’t assume things.

He will punish his laundryThe one glaring flaw (unless you hate realistic CGI-aided bloody violence, in which case there’s that too) is its use of music from Hans Zimmer’s Dark Knight score. It kind of works, but it’s such an iconic and unique score that it’s instantly recognisable, which is distracting. If they can produce a professionally-shot 10-minute film with professional actors, why couldn’t they get someone to do some music? Or at least use unfamiliar library tracks?

Considering it breaks both Marvel/Disney’s character copyright and WB’s music copyright, and thanks to starring Proper Actors & That it’s been relatively high-profile, it’s a miracle it’s still on YouTube after all this time. It’s a fairly effective depiction of a fan-favourite character, though, so long may it remain.

4 out of 5

Skyfall (2012)

2012 #86
Sam Mendes | 143 mins | cinema | 2.35:1 | UK & USA / English | 12A / PG-13

SkyfallOh Skyfall, how the world loves thee, let me count the ways!

It’s the highest-grossing film in British cinema history, passing a raft of long-running hits (Titanic, Mamma Mia) and 3D-boosted mega-blockbusters (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Toy Story 3) in the process. Previous title-holder Avatar had the double whammy of 3D curiosity and a long cinema run, but it still took a total of 11 months to reach a final tally of £94m. Skyfall passed that in 40 days… and then kept going. As of December 16th, it had reached about £98m in its home market.

In the US, it has to date taken nearly $280m, leaving the previous most-successful Bond far in its wake: that was Quantum of Solace, which ‘only’ grossed $168m. Worldwide, it is approaching $1bn, which would make it one of only 14 films to pass that marker. That, again, puts it well ahead of the franchise’s previous best, which was Casino Royale’s $599m. It hasn’t even opened in China yet, which analysts predict is what will push it over the $1bn mark.

Finally, it’s passed Spider-Man 3 to become Sony Pictures’ highest grossing movie of all time worldwide, and overcome The Amazing Spider-Man to be their highest grosser in the US alone. Even with The Hobbit Part 1 recently commencing its box office campaign, Skyfall should wind up in the US top five for the year (depending how you count these things, possibly top four) and the worldwide top three. Bond films always do well, especially in the non-US marketplace, but by any yardstick this is a mega-hit beyond Bond’s usual proportions.

The man, the myth, the carSo, in short, people love it. But people don’t matter — I matter (well, I do to me), and what did I think?

Yeah, I bloody loved it too.

I had been intending to write a sort-of commentary on Skyfall, talking through my opinion of the film on a… if not scene-by-scene, then segment-by-segment basis. But then I thought time had grown and I was a bit too distant to write such a thing now. And then I sat down and it happened anyway. So what follows is a 4,400 word (yes, really) natter through the film in broadly chronological order, but taking asides to discuss particular elements in their entirety whenever I get to them.

It contains whopping great spoilers about almost everything, just in case you hadn’t guessed. (My much shorter spoiler-free review is here.)

Have fun.

The film begins (as you’re no doubt aware, because who hasn’t seen it?) without the famous gun barrel. An unforgivable move in the 50th anniversary year/film, surely? I felt so at first, but the opening shot Mendes has chosen — Bond appearing at the end of a corridor and walking into focus — is a good one, and would clash with the famous beginning. Besides, as we’ll see later, they have managed to do something good with it…

On your bikeThe pre-titles sequence is an exciting chase through — and over — Istanbul. As well as being a thrilling action sequence in its own right, here Mendes really establishes where he’s going with the film. There’s no close-up fast-cut Bourne-inspired shooting and editing here, instantly distancing Skyfall from the unpopular style adopted by Marc Forster for Bond’s previous outing, Quantum of Solace. It also firmly continues the Bond tradition of doing stunts ‘for real’, including some quite spectacular stuff with a digger and a train. I’m sure CGI has come sufficiently far since Die Another Day to make it a more useful tool now (indeed, DAD’s plasticky effects looked dated on release in 2002, never mind a decade later), but there’s something pleasing about knowing producers went to those locations and some person actually did a version of the things we’re seeing, even if it involved wires or stunt doubles or what have you.

The man Bond is chasing here is Ola Rapace, a capable actor who some Brits might know from the Swedish Wallander series (see in particular this review). He turns up again later, but I’m not sure he has a single significant line of dialogue. It’s not a fault of the film, but an unusual quirk of casting that a decent actor is playing little more than a heavy.

The pre-titles ends with M, back in London but communicating via Modern Technology, telling Bond’s co-agent Eve (Naomie Harris) to “take the bloody shot”, which she fluffs and hits Bond. The target and his MacGuffin get away; Bond falls from a viaduct to his death. SkyfoalCue Daniel Kleinman’s title sequence. And hurrah for the return of Kleinman, because the effort Forster’s favourite effects company MK12 offered on Quantum of Solace was a little bit pathetic. Kleinman is the master of the Bond title sequence now, and while he clearly owes a debt to the work of Maurice Binder (he more or less invented the form, after all), modern technology and the responsibility now heaped on this part of the film by audience expectation means he is, arguably, the best creator of Bond title sequences ever. Skyfall is another tour de force, loaded with inventive imagery that is even more rewarding when viewed a second time, knowing the full story. How often can you say that about Binder’s naked girls on trampolines?

After the titles, we learn that M is in trouble: the MacGuffin Bond was after is a list of all Western undercover agents — not something you want to lose. Her superior, Mallory (Ralph Fiennes), informs her she’s on the way out. Mirroring her famous dressing down of Bond in GoldenEye, M is now the dinosaur. Since her first appearance in 1995, the Bond films have slowly come to realise that in Judi Dench they have a stunning actress, and the size of her role has gradually increased. The World is Not Enough was the first to make a big deal of increased involvement, but it’s the Craig era that’s really given Dench a role to sink her teeth into. This is a harder (she swears!), more battle-worn M than the Brosnan-era version of the character. The double act (for want of a better word) between her and Bond is a key part of the Craig films to date, and Skyfall is very much the climax of that story. Bloody bulldogShe is the co-lead, the film’s real Bond girl, and she is marvellous throughout — doing what is necessary as the boss of MI6, facing up to a hostile parliamentary inquiry, and showing both vulnerability and resourcefulness in the Scotland-set climax, the film is a showcase for Dench. That she is gone is a huge loss to the franchise; that she went with such a meaty role is a credit to the film and the series.

Bond, meanwhile, is on a beach somewhere with a beautiful girl and drinking his nights away. Until, that is, he sees on the news a terrorist attack on MI6 HQ. Time to go home. This is a Bond motivated by duty. He loves women and drink, certainly, but when England is threatened he can’t resist — even when he’s not asked for. Indeed, quite the opposite, because when he’s back no one really wants him. He’s injured, out of shape; old and past it. Quite the shift from Casino Royale and Quantum, where we witness the birth of Bond. Here he’s experienced, possibly at the end of his career. It’s a bold move to make such a jump, especially when you’ve got a leading man who’s set for at least two more films. It helps make for a neat trilogy, though. There are no obvious plot threads linking this to Craig’s previous two outings (notoriously, the second of which is the first direct sequel in the Bond canon), but thematically and in his relationship with M Skyfall is entirely interpretable as the third act in a trilogy, one which examines, deconstructs and rebuilds the character of James Bond.

Daniel Craig performing a taskDaniel Craig is more than up to this task. Much like Dench, the series has landed on its feet by casting an actor altogether better than you’d typically find in such blockbuster fare. The arc for Bond is perhaps more understated than M’s, even if, as the lead character, it’s even more central; but Craig can convey what’s necessary with a wince or a change in movement. And though Bond is physically debilitated, his mind is there, playing detective as he follows a trail to the villain’s lair, and plotting how best to defeat the always-one-step-ahead nemesis. More on whom later.

With the unknown possessor of the list releasing names of agents online — and them suffering as you’d expect as a result — M passes Bond for duty and sends him to Shanghai on the trail of Rapace’s character. The standout element here is undoubtedly Roger Deakins’ cinematography, laying out a neon-drenched future-style city so beautiful in its own way that an action sequence can afford to be played out in silhouette before a glowing blue sign. I think few would argue that this is the best-looking Bond film ever. The obvious glory comes both in Shanghai and, later, misty Scottish highlands, Deakins’ work making every location an engaging character to compete with the powerful acting. Throughout, though, the film has a considered approach that makes it, however subtly, gorgeous to watch. Visually it feels rich and deep in a way few of its ilk can match.

The name's Moneypenny, Eve MoneypennyFrom Shanghai Bond travels to a casino in Macau, where he’s reunited with Eve — who, as you’ll remember, shot him. We won’t learn it until much later, but Eve is of course Moneypenny. Providing such an iconic character with an origin story is an interesting move for the series, though perhaps unsurprising within the overall ethos of the Craig era. In retrospect, knowing who Eve will turn out to be, the way the film uses her is quite clever. For instance, she and Bond are clearly close, but it’s left deliberately unclear whether they sleep together — some viewers have assumed it’s implied they do, others the opposite, which just goes to prove it’s left up in the air. And when it turns out she’s Moneypenny, that’s kind of important — not only can there be the usual “will they/won’t they”, there’s also “have they/haven’t they”. The familiar Bond-Moneypenny relationship would be very different if we knew they’d already done it.

Also introduced in this film is Q (Ben Whishaw). Played for the first time as younger than Bond, he’s now a twenty-something geeky hacker-type, entirely befitting the modern world. There’s also a shortage of gadgets (producing one of the film’s best laughs, I think). It’s all part of the mythology of the Craig era, rebuilding the traditional Bond formula in a modern image. Taking us back to the trilogy idea, if Casino Royale began the formation of the James Bond character in an origin story kind of way, and Quantum further refined it, then Skyfall is the completion of the journey: the familiar elements are built up around Bond, and his character is broken down and reassembled for (hopefully) a final time. These moves are all cemented in the final scene, which we’ll come to later (obviously).

Pretty hackingQ also serves as part of another major discussion in the film, that being the role of the secret service in the modern world. So much can be done with the internet and related technology these days that perhaps the real heroes are the Q-types who sit at keyboards and process data; but, as Q himself says, sometimes a trigger must be pulled. There’s also a lot of talk about operating in the shadows — who does and who does not, and whether the secret service as we know it is an outdated way to combat modern threats, particularly nation-less terrorism. For a mainstream action movie there’s an awful lot of thoughtfulness about the state of our world, without making it too blatant that it’s discussing the current political climate. It’s another feat to the film’s credit that it can smuggle this intelligent discourse into an action-thriller format. It’s obvious which side of the line the film will come down on, and of course it’s as much a plot point as a considered debate (more so, even), but it adds welcome layers.

For all this re-building and debating, Mendes — and screenwriters Neal Purvis & Robert Wade (in what, it turns out, will be their final contribution to the franchise) and John Logan — are certainly Bond fans, and they haven’t forgotten this is the 50th anniversary film. You may remember that Die Another Day was both the series’ 20th instalment and the 40th anniversary film, and it went overboard with references to the past: littered throughout, both in dialogue and on props, are titles of previous films; the Q branch scene was loaded with gadgets from previous entries; and there were callbacks galore, the best-known being Halle Berry recreating The Bikini Scene from Dr. No. It was all good fun, but it was very overt in a Roger Moore-ish way — something that absolutely would not sit within the Craig era.

Reconstructed BondWhat we get instead, however, is a more subtle use of familiarity and nostalgia. For one thing, the finalisation of the reconstruction of Bond’s character is a good way to mark 50 years; as is re-introducing Q, Moneypenny and the traditional Bond setup. Additionally, there’s things like the Komodo dragons, a conscious nod to Craig and Mendes’ first Bond experience, Live and Let Die (which had crocodiles). It’s a little outlandish, but not implausibly so. The same can be said of the villain’s lair, a deserted island that is based on a real place near Japan. With its erring towards realism the Craig era has done away with hollowed-out volcanoes and ice palaces, but here it manages to reconstruct that notion in a modern, plausible way.

And then there’s the DB5. At first you think it’s just The Car — Bond did win it in a poker game in Casino Royale, after all — but then there’s a gag about the ejector seat. Woah there, I felt — we’re in a realist modern world, and now you’re referencing a classic element, yes, but a somewhat implausible one, from a massively different era in the franchise. Is that ruining the mood for the sake of an audience-pleasing joke? But then they go all-out, as the climax employs pretty much every gadget we remember from the car’s original appearance in Goldfinger. This is the height of the film’s nostalgia, and one could have a long debate about what it Means. When you think about it, theoretically Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton and Brosnan never happened in the world of the Craig films, because that stuff about Bond being just a codename is utter nonsense. So where does the car come from? Who used the gadgets before? The DB5 - The CarBut the thing is, it doesn’t matter, because it’s fun. On the whole Skyfall may be part of the newer, more serious era of Bond movies, but it has room for humour and heart, and the use of the DB5 has those in spades. And if you really want an in-universe explanation, you can come up with one. So does it sit uneasily with the rest of the film? Maybe a little. For some, I imagine it’s a deal breaker. But I think it works, and how.

Back on track: after Macau, Bond gets to visit the villain’s island, via a sequence where he sleeps with supporting Bond girl Sévérine. Much has been written about that act, especially considering the backstory the character is given. Some people firmly object to it on moral levels. Others have discussed why it makes sense and fits, and isn’t actually abusive. I have no real desire to discuss it in depth, but it feels like it should be mentioned, and so I’ll say I side with the latter.

The villain’s island, then, has been discussed — but what of the villain. If Craig and Dench are the film’s core, you need a villain that can equal them, and in Javier Bardem’s Silva you most definitely have it. From his fabulous introduction — a seemingly endless single take in which he approaches down a long, long corridor — onwards, Bardem has crafted a Bond villain for the ages. He’s camp, yes, something that has been much-discussed (the homoeroticism between him and Bond in his introductory scene has been over-discussed, in fact), but he’s also a genuine threat. Bardem pitches it just right, actually: he could have gone overboard with the campness and made Silva ludicrous, but instead his joviality and cackling laugh makes him all the more menacing. Camp as a row of tentsCoupled with a plot that makes him exceedingly clever and capable, he’s the most Bondian Bond villain since the Moore era. And he even has a physical grotesquery, which some hold as essential for Bond villain… and it’s a CGI-aided doozy too. They say a hero is as only as good as his villain, and while that’s not always true, it is almost always, and actor, writers, director and co have all nailed the nemesis here.

The other striking element of the character is his plan. He doesn’t seek some form of world domination, as the vast majority of Bond villains do (even in the modern era — it’s just been a more plausible, often financial, form of domination than the create-a-new-society-in-space style domination of old), but vengeance. And not vengeance against Bond, even, but M. And here’s another thing the film really nails, making Bond-M-Silva a triumvirate that drives everything, both the surface action and some of the thematic subtext. Bond and Silva are M’s two sons, both with reason to be disillusioned, but one loyal and one betrayer. The Bond series previously tried a hero-mirroring villain in the last anniversary-themed film, Die Another Day, but bungled it by doing it overtly but not actually emphasising it correctly. Here, the mirroring is more subtle — Silva is most certainly not constructed in Bond’s image; and, indeed, he’s the older man, the original, while Bond is The Guy Who Came Next — but the implications are better realised.

It’s in the next sequence that we see Silva’s true intelligence: captured by Bond and MI6, he reveals his plan and his deformation… and then he escapes. Here we have the film’s primary depiction of cyber-terrorism and hacking (although it’s scattered throughout). Terrorists in glass houses...Some, especially tech-geeks of course, have criticised this element of the film for its lack of realism. I assume no one told them they were watching A James Bond Film. Actually, I assume no one told them they were watching a mainstream action-thriller full stop. Real-life hacking involves a lot of boring windows and just the command line and more resolutely uncinematic stuff like that. But here we’re in a fantasy world — it’s a more grounded fantasy world than the ones of Moore and Brosnan, or even Lazenby, but it’s still not Our World exactly. And this is not a film about hacking either — it’s a film in which cyber-terrorism is used as a plot point. So why not make it more visually arresting for the sake of the audience? The point is not “here’s what a hacker would do”, it’s “where the hell did Silva go? Now I must track him down and try to shoot him”. The way the film handles that side of things fits the bill. Sure, the server room on Silva’s island is similarly beyond daft (oh, the dust!), but it makes the right kind of visual impact. I have sympathy for the articles deconstructing this as unrealistic — everything in a film this popular must be broken down and thoroughly analysed for the sake of internet hits, after all — but if it ruined your enjoyment of the film… lighten up, it’s not a documentary. Do you think the depiction of how MI6 functions is any more realistic?

Here’s where we get the fantastic chase through the London underground, and the much-trailed train crash. Skyfall has an intelligent approach to its action sequences, allowing them to emerge from the story when and where necessary — and on a scale that is necessary — rather than shoving in beats that feel forced or of disproportionate scale just because the film merits them at that moment. I suppose that’s what makes it more of a thriller than an action movie, and it’s certainly a mentality that’s been employed to good effect throughout the Craig era: Rush hourcompare and contrast Die Another Day, where they go off for a car chase on the ice for no good reason before returning to where they started, with Casino Royale, where the biggest sequence is immediately post-titles, or Quantum, which has a relentless first half (ish) before settling down to a story. Skyfall is more balanced, particularly than Quantum, but nothing feels shoehorned in.

Here also is where we find one of the film’s standout moments of moviemaking artistry. Mirroring the silent-but-for-opera chase midway through Quantum, Bond races to an inquiry where M is giving evidence, in pursuit of Silva who is intending to finalise his revenge, with the soundtrack sharing only Judi Dench’s voice delivering a reading from Tennyson: “though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven,” she says, cementing those previously-discussed themes of what the role of the secret service (and, indeed, Britain) is in the modern world; and continues, “heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield,” as a weakened, past-it Bond races to her rescue. It’s so perfect it could have been written for the film especially.

MalloryAnd then there’s an action sequence, a shoot-out at the inquiry, which is relatively low-key and yet one of the best bits of the movie. Mallory gets stuck in, earning Bond’s respect in the process, and as you’ve seen the film you’ll know where that goes, and because of where that goes Mallory having Bond’s respect is absolutely vital.

Silva gets away, and now the pieces are in place for the final act. And what a final act it is! This is not your typical climax to a Bond film, as Bond and M head north to Scotland, where they meet Albert Finney at Bond’s ancestral home — the titular Skyfall Lodge — there to hole up in preparation for an attack by Silva and his crew. Your typical Bond climax is a mano-a-mano fight between Bond and the villain, or an all-out assault by British/allied troops on the villain’s grand base. Not so here. In the quiet wilds of Scotland, one past-it secret agent and two pensioners hide away in a decrepit old mansion, with two guns and minimal bullets, and wait for a small personal army to turn up. It could be an anticlimax, but The Siege of Skyfall (as the more fantasy-inclined might wish to call it) is another excellent action sequence to add to Skyfall’s heavy roster. As before, it’s Bond’s brains that win out, planning tactically how to take down Silva’s men and fool them with the destruction of the house (while our heroes escape out a hidden passage, naturally). It is, once again, inventively written by Purvis, Wade & Logan (the use of the DB5, the construction of the plan, etc); The Siege of Skyfallcrisply directed by Mendes (readily followable action, building tension and suspense); stunningly shot by Deakins (dark but for the flames); beautifully performed by Craig, Dench, Bardem and Finney (particularly in the lead-up to the assault)… it’s a climax that does indeed tie together much of what makes the film.

The story comes to a close in a chapel, by the graves of Bond’s parents. There’s imagery and meaning in that, I’m certain. Silva kills M (somewhat indirectly); Bond kills Silva. Some have read this as a failure — that Bond loses — and while it’s certainly a qualified victory, it is a victory. The villain is dead, after all, and by taking him out of the way to Scotland they saved goodness-knows how many lives in London or wherever else they may have chosen to go. Bond loses M, true, but my are there factors in that death. This incarnation of M was a warrior, albeit from behind a desk than from the front line (most of the time), and so is dying in battle (as it were) not more fitting than a half-disgraced retirement? And what of her sins, against both Silva and Bond — is this a punishment? However much the villain may indeed be the villain, he kinda has a point. Bond may not really win at the end of Skyfall, but nor does he lose — much like the rest of the film, it’s a little more complicated than that.

By way of an epilogue, we are back in London, not at Vauxhall Cross but at, clearly, some other MI6 HQ — perhaps the Universal Exports of old. This is where we learn that Eve is Moneypenny, that Mallory is the new M, and that Bond is back in business. For Britain, JamesThis is where they say, after fifty years of Bond movies, everything is the same… only different. This is where the dialogue is a bit clunky and I wish someone had thought it through some more because it could have been perfect and instead it’s somewhere between awesome and cringe-inducing. “We haven’t been formally introduced” — seriously? You can do better than that!

But what fits, beautifully, is the gun barrel. David Arnold consciously kept the Bond theme out of Casino Royale until the very end because that was when Craig Became Bond; and Marc Forster consciously left the gun barrel to the end of Quantum of Solace because that was when the journey was complete and Craig Really Became Bond; and yet, somehow, they can get away with it for a third time. Perhaps that’s because, here, the Craig Era Becomes Bond — we’ve got M in a wood-panelled office, Moneypenny behind her desk, Q cooking up new gadgets, Bond back at his best… and a trilogy in which Daniel Craig’s James Bond went from gaining his 00 status to being the Bond we knew — with all the rich, deep, emotional backstory we never knew he had firmly in place — is now complete too. When the gun barrel plays (in an improved form from the rushed one we saw in Quantum), it isn’t just part of the fabric of the franchise, it feels earned.

And following it with the Bond 50 logo and the regular declaration that “James Bond Will Return” is fan-heart-wrenching genius.

A flawed heroSkyfall is, perhaps, a flawed film in places. It’s certainly not perfect. Thomas Newman’s score is adequate but rarely exceptional, and at times reminded me too much of his work for Lemony Snicket (and maybe his other scores too, but I particularly enjoyed that one and remember it well). On a similar note (pun not intended), Adele’s theme has been divisive, some hailing it a return to proper classic Bond themes after a decade and a half of dross, some thinking it over-produced and lacklustre (I fall between the two camps, even if she seems to be under the impression the film is called Skyfoal). There are points where the plot perhaps lingers too long, and others where characters speak in statements rather than dialogue, and of course I had problems with the final scene and while I enjoyed the use of the DB5 it somehow doesn’t quite sit… and yet, I’d’ve done exactly the same if I’d thought of it.

Some say Skyfall is a more dramatic, permanent, and thorough reboot of the franchise than the obviously-a-reboot Casino Royale was. Others say it’s a fine film but not really the equal of Craig’s debut. As I said in my initial thoughts, it really takes time to fairly judge where a new entry sits within the Bond pantheon. There seems little doubt, however, that Skyfall is in the upper echelons. Whether it surpasses Casino Royale, or the best films of any of the other Bonds, is almost immaterial — it is its own beast, both faithful to the Bond legends that we know and capable of forging its own unique path. James Bond Will ReturnThat’s some kind of glorious contradiction — one of many in the film and its characters, I’m sure, should you care to take a run at analysing it that way. After the last 4,800 words, this may not be the place.

Thank you for reading; now you can see the star rating this affirmed Bond fan was always rather likely to give:

5 out of 5

If you’ve not had enough of my thoughts on Skyfall, my spoiler-free “initial thoughts” can be found here.

This review is the climax of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2012. Read more here.

Skyfall placed 1st on my list of The Ten Best Films I Saw For the First Time in 2012, which can be read in full here.

Cowboys & Aliens: Extended Director’s Cut (2011)

2012 #56
Jon Favreau | 136 mins | Blu-ray | 2.40:1 | USA / English | 12 / PG-13

This review contains spoilers.

Cowboys & AliensWe all know the saying “too many cooks spoil the broth”, and it can’t help pop into one’s mind during the 85 seconds of company logos that kick off this genre mashup. Here the “cooks” are Paramount (serving non-US distribution only), Dreamworks, Universal and Imagine Entertainment — I can’t remember the last time I saw a Hollywood blockbuster begin with so many individual logo animations. It’s unsurprising that no one wanted to take a solo punt on a Western-with-a-twist after the failure of the last one anyone can remember, and after this (it barely reclaimed its production budget at the worldwide box office) it looks unlikely many will want to again.

Unlike that Will Smith vehicle, however, Cowboys & Aliens isn’t an appallingly bad film. It’s not a particularly great one, true, but its lack of success is due in part to someone agreeing to spend too much money on it — it made $175m and looks like a failure for Chrissake! Looked at objectively, that’s a pretty fine number, especially when its “Indiana Jones and James Bond fight aliens” selling point is tarnished by the recent films in both those franchises being poorly received.

But enough about money, what about the film itself. The story concerns Indiana Jones and James Bond fighting aliens. Sadly, not literally — it’s Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig as cowboys faced with an alien invasion. Sounds like pulpy fun, right? That’s what the title implies. Unfortunately, director Jon Favreau and the team of seven writers (that’s right, seven) decided it would be better to make it Serious. Ugh. Well, I say “ugh” — I’m not adverse to the idea of serious-minded renditions of initially-daft concepts; but not using the daft version of the concept as your final title might be a starting point.

He's got CharacterThing is, what the film gives us doesn’t quite sit right, even if you’re expecting it to be non-pulpy. It’s still an action-adventure summer blockbuster, but with pretensions at times to be a Western drama. I think that’s the fundamental problem with the entire film, and probably why it feels slow, especially in the middle. A lot of that is character scenes, despite which the characters feel underdeveloped and under explored. One wonders if these particular writers, versed in the art of the blockbuster, don’t really know what they’re doing. Sometimes you can see what they were going for, for instance in how they set things up and pay them off (like the alien with a grudge against Craig), but somehow it doesn’t come off.

And the outcome is: maybe some of the pulpy thrills the name promised would’ve been better. It doesn’t need to be a comedy, it just needs to stop trying to be so grandiose and get on with the cowboys-fighting-aliens action. Which in this version, when it finally gets to it right at the end, is no fun because it’s too busy distracting us elsewhere — literally, the fight is a distraction for some of the other heroes to get on with the plot. Which I guess is why it feels so unsatisfying and you just want it to go away — we’ve nothing invested in that fight, other than it has to keep going on, and even that isn’t made clear (the aliens certainly aren’t desperate to get back inside their base, for instance).

This isn't actually the climaxAlso note that this climax lasts a full 25 minutes. It may not sound a lot for the big finish — it’s the whole third act after all — but it felt it (especially as the build-up begins 40 minutes out), with constantly shifting goal posts and Favreau’s attempts at making a skirmish feel like an epic battle. Other parts are just straight wasted opportunities, like the extended sequence in an upturned riverboat. For one thing, no effort is made to explain its presence. For another, it’s all so darkly shot that you can’t get a real sense of it. Could have made for some impressive sets — heck, maybe they were impressive sets — but it’s not well utilised. Makes it harder to work out just what’s going on at times too. Thank goodness it wasn’t in 3D!

Even without that gimmick, however, I really disliked some of the cinematography. Much of it is great, but then there are those dark bits, and even worse is some handheld psychedelically-graded stuff that just sticks out like a sore thumb. I can see what Favreau was going for, but it feels out of place, wrong, distractingly nasty rather than provocatively effective in a film that is mostly shot very classically, especially for a modern effects-packed blockbuster.

One of the womenI could go on. For example, Craig loses the love of his life to the aliens, then loses the new woman he seems to have quickly fallen for to them too… but it’s OK because he saw a hummingbird at the end, so he’s happy. Or there’s the fact that the town is called Absolution — I believe, anyway, because I think one of the three guys at the beginning mentions it and it’s the title of a featurette on the BD. Other than that, no mention is made in the film, despite it arguably being one of the key themes. We don’t need to be battered around the head with symbolism, but a bit more effort might’ve been nice.

Remember when I said the film wasn’t bad? Honestly, it… well, it wasn’t really. There are good bits. British composer Harry Gregson-Williams offers a likeable score, especially the main theme (which plays over the DVD & BD menu, if you want to hear it quickly). It’s nicely evocative of familiar Western music while giving it a modern style too, at times sweeping when we reach an appropriate bit. One of the best elements of the film, in many ways.

As you may have noticed, I watched the Blu-ray’s extended cut of the film, which in this instance offers somewhere in the region of 17 minutes of new material. (Normally that website is reliable, but this isn’t their best guide in my opinion.) That’s quite a chunk of time, which makes me wonder if some of the pacing issues — the slow middle, as I mentioned — may be down to this being extended. Still, despite their relatively large total length, the extensions mostly come in tiny bits. Some I guessed (all the stuff with them exploring the boat), some it’s hard to imagine the film without (an early scene with Craig and the town priest, or stuff about the doctor and the kid coming along on the hunt — the doc they could’ve got away with, but the kid? Did no one watching the theatrical version question why they took him along?) Conversely, some of the extensions seem borderline unnecessary — This actually is from the climaxso maybe the theatrical version wouldn’t be much better pacing-wise after all. On balance this feels like an extended cut where someone decided to save a work-in-progress edit and later deem it an “extended cut”, then kept trimming to craft a more streamlined theatrical cut, as opposed to the filmmakers dropping missed elements back in post-release.

For an ending, I’m actually going to cheat a little and turn to another review. Naughty me. But Blu-ray.com’s coverage of the US disc has a good section that I may as well just quote in (almost) full as paraphrase as a source, and it goes on to a conclusion I simply agree with. So:

President of Universal Studios Ron Meyers’ brutally blunt assessment of [Cowboys & Aliens]? “Wasn’t good enough. Forget all the smart people involved in it, it wasn’t good enough. All those little creatures bouncing around were crappy. I think it was a mediocre movie. We misfired. We were wrong. We did it badly, and I think we’re all guilty of it. I have to take first responsibility because I’m part of it, but we all did a mediocre job and we paid the price for it. It happens. They’re talented people. Certainly you couldn’t have more talented people involved in Cowboys & Aliens, but it took, you know, ten smart and talented people to come up with a mediocre movie.”

Such honesty is rare indeed. As Blu-ray.com’s reviewer Kenneth Brown goes on to say,

you have to admire a studio exec willing to address criticism head on and take responsibility for projects that should have taken off but, for one reason or another, crashed and burned. So is Cowboys & Aliens really that bad? “Mediocre” is fair, “disappointing” even more so. It isn’t a bad flick — it’s actually kinda fun, if you’re willing to abandon high expectations and switch off your brain for two hours — it just isn’t nearly as good as it could have and should have been.

How much?!Sad, but true.

And I’m sure that, in its wake, Disney haven’t made a mistake by spending a reported $250m ($87m more than Cowboys & Aliens cost; $75m more than it earned) on Western-with-a-twist The Lone Ranger, have they?

…have they?

3 out of 5

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2012. Read more here.

The Return of the Musketeers (1989)

2012 #42
Richard Lester | 98 mins | TV | 16:9 | UK, France & Spain / English | PG / PG

The Return of the Musketeers16 years after they first swashed their buckles for director Richard Lester, Michael York, Oliver Reed, Frank Finlay and Richard Chamberlain return as the titular swordsmen in an adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ Vingt ans après, aka Twenty Years After. As feats of sequalisation go, there’s something inherently pleasing about reassembling a cast and crew the best part of two decades later to adapt a tale set at a similar distance.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go down so well: although it did receive a theatrical release in Europe, in the US it wound up as a cable TV premiere a couple of years later. This may in part be due to the fact that it looks like it was shot close to the early-’70s originals, not in the late ’80s. It’s also tonally similar, a scrappy style that perhaps didn’t sit so well in the multiplexes of a decade-and-a-half later, despite a pulpy structure and emphasis on fun japes rather than serious-minded storytelling.

Despite being sourced from an Old Novel, The Return of the Musketeers is — just like its two forebears — far from being a Literary Adaptation. It may not scale the same heights of fun and frivolity as the first Lester-directed Musketeers movie, but it’s more or less on a par with the second, with moments (such as a clever opening) that shine through. Rough around the edges certainly, but likeable heroes, hissable villains, and widespread irreverence keep it the right side of entertaining for those who enjoyed this cast’s previous adventures.

3 out of 5

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2012. Read more here.

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

2012 #41
Marcus Nispel | 113 mins | Blu-ray | 2.35:1 | USA / English | 15 / R

Conan the BarbarianConan was created by Robert E. Howard in 1932, but is probably best known to most thanks to the Schwarzenegger-starring 1982 film, which was successful enough to provoke a sequel in 1984. Having never read any of the stories or watched either of those films, that’s about where my knowledge of the character ends — except for this recent attempt at a remake/reboot/whatever “re”-prefixed word you want to use this week.

Here, at least, Conan starts out as a young boy in a village of warriors, who are then massacred by the villainous villain in his quest for some MacGuffin. Naturally our young hero is the only survivor and I imagine at that point he swore vengeance, so he goes off and grows up to become someone with more muscles than acting chops (played by Jason Momoa, previously seen as a non-English-speaking muscleman in Game of Thrones) and somehow or other gets on the trail of the villain.

If my poor description sounds like the film doesn’t make sense, that’s a tad unfair, because it is followable… I just didn’t really care at any point. The plot kind of pings about through some disconnected set pieces, few of them particularly inspiring with the exception of one featuring ninja-types who are formed out of sand. Whether the story is faithful to Howard or a reinvention I don’t know, but either he’s been heavily borrowed from down the years Conan the Muscleor the filmmakers ignored his work in favour of familiar bits and bobs from other sources. Visually it’s just as non-inventive, which is what you get when you hire the director of a middling Frankenstein TV movie, two horror remakes, and Pathfinder.

This new version of Conan isn’t a dreadful movie per se, it’s just sort of uninspiring. I didn’t hate it, I just don’t care to particularly remember it, and even when I do I’m not 100% sure if all the things I remember are even from this film. There’s now talk that the next attempt to use the character will be an Arnie-starring sequel to the first film, skipping both the original sequel and this version. Perhaps that’s for the best, for both the franchise’s financiers and fans.

2 out of 5

This review is part of the 100 Films Advent Calendar 2012. Read more here.