September’s Failures

I was nearly tempted out to the actual cinema again in September. Ever since I first started seeing trailers for Gareth Edwards’s The Creator, I thought it looked promising — especially as I’ve enjoyed all of his previous films — and the recent word of mouth, since it started screening for critics, has suggested it would live up to those expectations. But it’s only just come out, and I was busy this weekend, so hopefully I can now make time for it in the next week or two.

Elsewhere, a lot of cinema bows this month were new entries in series, most of them ones I follow. A Haunting in Venice is the third of Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot adaptations. If its box office is anything to go by, it might be the last. I hope not, because I’ve been enjoying them. The Saw series returned from the dead — again — with Saw X. It’s a franchise of variable quality, but one I actually enjoy overall, though I never rush to catch a new instalment. I’ll be sure to catch it eventually, probably once it’s available on a service I already subscribe to. The same goes for the belated fourth entry in the Expendables series, which is apparently officially titled Expend4bles. It’s meant to be pretty awful, but then people have said that about every other film in the series so far, and I’ve mostly thought they were… alright. So, yeah, another one I’ll catch eventually. And the same can be said again of The Equalizer 3. Quite how that’s legged out to a trilogy, I don’t know — again, I’d describe each of the previous films as “alright”, but nothing about them screams “more is required”. But — as with all the others in this paragraph — I like them enough to watch it eventually.

An even more unlikely threequel is My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3. I remember the first one being a breakout hit back in 2002, and the first sequel — coming almost 15 years later — feeling like a desperate attempt to revive a once-popular-but-now-forgotten phenomenon. Quite how that non-event led to a third go-round, I don’t know. At almost the other end of the spectrum, Past Lives also hit UK screens last month. Well, I don’t know where it sits on that spectrum — I don’t really know what it’s about, other than people seem to like it because I’ve seen it ranked highly on Letterboxd. Very much the kind of film I’m not going to rush to the cinema to see, but if it’s that good, I’ll find out what it actually is — and watch it, no doubt — at some point in the future.

As for interesting premieres on streaming, there really only seemed to be two, both released right at the end of the month — and one of them isn’t even a film. That would be Wes Anderson’s collection of Roald Dahl-adapted shorts for Netflix, led by The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and continuing with The Swan, The Rat Catcher, and Poison. I’ve seen some query why these weren’t bundled into a portmanteau feature, a la the Coen brothers’ Netflix film, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; or at least lumped together as a ‘series’, rather than having their own separate listings. But I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that this is how Anderson wanted it; for them to be considered as four distinct shorts, not a de facto feature.

The other title of note was No One Will Save You on Disney+ (or Hulu if you’re in the States). I believe it’s some kind of sci-fi/horror movie that’s told without any dialogue, but I confess I don’t really know too much about it, because I hadn’t even heard of it before the day it came out, when I kept seeing critics pointing it out on Twitter, as if I would know what it was. Anyway, I’ve not read too much more for the sake of staying spoiler free, but it sounds intriguing. That said, there were a couple of other streaming debuts this month, but I find it hard to get excited for Robert Rodriguez rebooting Spy Kids again in Spy Kids: Armageddon, and Netflix don’t seem to have done much to push Reptile beyond “it stars Benicio del Toro” — if I couldn’t tell you much about No One Will Save You, I could tell you even less about that.

Of course, there were the usual array of theatrical releases making their streaming debuts. Disney continue to keep their theatrical releases as short as possible, with the live-action The Little Mermaid and Pixar’s Elemental already available to stream. Things take a little longer to reach Sky Cinema, where this month the most noteworthy additions were titles I own on disc but haven’t got round to: Knock at the Cabin, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Scream VI; plus Tár, which I’ve now mentioned in this column three months on the trot. Really ought to get round to it…

In terms if back catalogue titles, MUBI proved the most interesting, with the likes of David Lynch’s obscure 1988 short The Cowboy and the Frenchman, Terence Davies’s Distant Voices, Still Lives, Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, and Nothing Sacred, a film I’d never heard of but which they bill as “an utterly charming, wisecrack-filled screwball comedy shot in the vibrantly weird palette of early Technicolor”. Sounds neat. Similarly niche is Róise & Frank, which I remember noting when it screened at FilmBath last year — because it’s about a widow who meets a dog she believes is her husband reincarnated, and regular readers will know how much I love a “cute dog” movie — and now it’s as accessible as can be on iPlayer.

Netflix’s offerings were, unsurprisingly, a bit more mainstream, including Wonder Woman 1984 (which I’ve had downloaded in 3D for yonks — I’m very behind on superhero movies), recent-ish reboots like Mortal Kombat and Tom & Jerry, Covid-era heist thriller Locked Down, plus both the 2013 Evil Dead remake/reboot/whatever and this year’s Evil Dead Rise. Now there’s a franchise I need to re-engage with the whole history of — I saw the original three when I was a bit too young to really ‘get it’, and have long meant to revisit them. Similar could be said of an otherwise very different film, The Usual Suspects, which popped up on Amazon — although I recently imported the US 4K release for that very reason. Still, it’s about the only noteworthy thing appearing on Prime this month.

Talking of stuff I’ve bought and not got round to… well, that’s the story of my Blu-ray collection, really. Now that I look at the list, a lot of it strikes me as horror or horror-adjacent, so perhaps it was best saved for October anywhere. I’m talking the likes of new 4K releases for Mario Bava’s Blood and Black Lace, David Cronenberg’s Crimes of the Future, It Follows, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow, and British folk horror classic The Wicker Man; the BFI releasing Ken Russell’s Gothic; and a package of sale purchases from Severin including 4K releases of Lucio Fulci’s The Psychic and Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Santa Sangre, plus regular Blu-rays of bizarre-sounding sequel Nosferatu in Venice, giallo The Fourth Victim, and giallo miniseries Private Crimes.

It wasn’t all October-appropriate fare dropping through my letterbox last month, though. There were animated superheroes thanks to 4K releases of Batman: Mask of the Phantasm and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (which I need to precede with a long-overdue play of my imported 3D copy of the first film); film noir, both widely acclaimed (Eureka’s 4K release of Orson Welles’s Touch of Evil) and deep cuts (Arrow’s third volume of Four Film Noir Classics, featuring Calcutta, Ride the Pink Horse, Outside the Law, and The Female Animal). There were sundry others, too: I finally picked up Ridley Scott’s Exodus: Gods and Kings in 3D (I quite liked it when I first watched it, and it was actually shot in 3D, so has long been on my “one day” list), and the BFI were finally able to release Peter Bogdanovich’s Targets (I seem to remember they had it on the schedule years ago and had to cancel it?) And as if that wasn’t enough, my replacement disc for Vinegar Syndrome’s Showgirls 4K finally arrived as well.

So, which of these delights will end up qualifying for my Challenge as September’s Failure? Your guess is as good as mine. But despite all the money sunk on discs, I wouldn’t be surprised if the streaming cute dog film won out…

The “All Is Not Lost” Monthly Review of September 2023

You may remember that, at the end of August’s monthly review, I forecast some potential problems for this month with regards to staying on track with my Challenge; but that there was also the potential boon of some time off. Of course, as anyone who read my mid-month update will already know, that spot of good fortune quickly disappeared thanks to some additional hurdles.

Nonetheless, all is not lost. Although I had hoped for a successful September, but have ended up with a lesser one, it wasn’t a total disaster: a few well-chosen watches kept the Challenge ticking over, and I’m notably ahead of where I was at this point last year. Of course, I ultimately chose to abandon the Challenge in 2022, so it’s hardly a positive benchmark. Still, despite September’s woes, I’m hoping to avoid such a fate this year.



This month’s viewing towards my yearly challenge

#66 The Pied Piper (1986) — Failures #9
#67 The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) — Genre #3
#68 Spy (2015) — Rewatch #9
#69 Fisherman’s Friends: One and All (2022) — Wildcard #7
#70 Nightmare Alley (1947) — WDYMYHS #8
#71 Death on the Nile (2022) — Physical Media #10
#72 The Man Who Was Nobody (1960) — Wildcard #8


  • I watched six feature films I’d never seen before in September.
  • Four of them counted towards my 100 Films in a Year Challenge, along with three rewatches.
  • I’m two films behind where I should be at the end of September to keep my Challenge on perfect track, which obviously isn’t ideal, but also isn’t the end of the world. Really, it just means I have to average 9.3 films per month for the rest of the year instead of 8.7 — which, either way, rounds to 9.
  • As you may have noticed, two more Wildcards were used this month. Fisherman’s Friends 2 is an additional rewatch, while I’ve counted Edgar Wallace mystery The Man Who Was Nobody as Series Progression #11 (it could equally have been Physical Media #11, as it was on DVD).
  • I’ve taken so long getting round to watching gialli for my Genre category that this month’s — only my third — bumped my first off the bottom of my Recently Watched page.
  • This month’s WDYMYHS film was Nightmare Alley — the 1947 original, of course, not Guillermo del Toro’s re-adaptation. Though I’m even more curious to see that now, for the comparison.
  • Really, I needed to watch two WDYMYHS films to catch up; though with things being how they were, even watching one feels like an achievement. Certainly, I didn’t watch any Blindspot films — so both categories enter October in catch-up mode.
  • From last month’s “failures” I watched The Pied Piper.
  • A final point: despite all my aforementioned struggles, if we count both new films and rewatches, at the end of September I hit exactly 100 feature films watched in 2023. So that’s nice.

And talking of 100 somethings…



The 100th Monthly Arbitrary Awards

100 — it’s a big and significant number. Heck, I’ve themed an entire site around it. Although, with a monthly event like the Arbies, it’s a bit of an odd one: it represents 8⅓ years of awards-giving. Hey-ho, let’s roll with it.

To mark the occasion, as well as the usual three awards I hand out these days (I keep meaning to go back to the old five, but it takes that bit more time each month and so I keep putting it off), there’s the “Arbie of Arbies” — my most favourite of the 100 films to win Favourite Film of the Month. More on that at the end. First, this month’s favourite…

Favourite Film of the Month
Only six films to choose between this month, but several were worthy of this honour. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage might be the best giallo I’ve seen so far (out of, um, three), but The Pied Piper is a truly remarkable feat of animation, silent filmmaking, and Gothic storytelling.

Least Favourite Film of the Month
With only six films to choose from, competition was hardly fierce; indeed, the winner of this category was an easy pick: Edgar Wallace programmer The Man Who Was Nobody. “Easy” in this case not because it’s a terrible film, but because the other five were so much better — this was certainly the least successful at what it set out to do.

The Audience Award for Most-Viewed New Post of the Month
In a minor change from most of 2023, there were three posts eligible this month — the usual review and “failures” from the previous month, plus my mid-month progress update. None really set my stats alight, but — for the fifth month running — it was the monthly review that won out.

And the “Arbie of Arbies” goes to…
With 100 films to choose from, this was naturally a tricky proposition. Some were ruled out easily — the fact my Favourite Film is awarded from each month’s pool of new viewing means some films were good for that month but perhaps not so fantastic overall. Conversely, films that have grown in my estimations over time may have missed out due to being beaten by something even better (or that seemed even better at the time) in their original month. Never mind — it’s all just a bit of fun, anyway.

So, having gone back all over all 100 winners (including this month’s, obv), and narrowed it down to a quick initial shortlist (of 16), then halving that number, then umming and ahhing over the remaining eight (for a relatively short period of time because, as I said, it’s just a bit of fun), I’m declaring the winner to be Mission: Impossible – Fallout. It was a tough choice (the remainder of the “top eight” included another Mission: Impossible, two Denis Villeneuves, a Christmas classic, at least one modern action masterpiece, and several films that spoke to me personally even if the broader reception was more divided), but this is what I’ve landed on today.


I’m hoping to get at least somewhat back on track. As I said earlier, I’m not actually far off it, but with several categories complete or almost complete, it’s the others (Blindspot, WDYMYHS, and, especially, Genre) that really need attention. The biggest potential barrier (as mentioned in my mid-month piece) is that I’ve committed myself to a pile of Doctor Who watching, reading, and listening in honour of the series’ 60th anniversary. Will that ruin my film viewing? Will I be able to find a harmonious balance? Only time will tell (appropriately enough).

Also next month, it’s the FilmBath Festival. I haven’t actually attended for a few years, but I’ve got a couple of tickets booked this time — though I think only one of the films I’m seeing will qualify for the Challenge. Nonetheless, more on that next month.

And then there’s the Halloween of it all. Not for me, spending a whole month watching just one genre. Though I feel like I should do it one year, just to have done it. But 2023 will not be that year.